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Col. Robert Parker having fun in MLW after 20 years away from wrestling

Posted: Jul 14th 2018 By: Jay Reddick

When Colonel Robert Parker made his surprise debut in Major League Wrestling last February, the crowd at Gilt Nightclub in Orlando was thrilled and excited to see him. Parker might have been even happier, though.

Parker – best known as the drawling, nattily dressed manager of Sid Vicious, Stunning Steve Austin and others in 1990s WCW -- spent 20 years out of the wrestling limelight, living in South Florida and making occasional appearances at autograph signings and reunion shows stemming from his heyday in Tennessee and Alabama.

He never thought he’d be back as a regular on national TV with a brand-new Stud Stable. But as Parker often says, timing can be a funny thing. He leads his new group – the Dirty Blondes, Mike Parrow and Jake Hager – into battle every Friday night on MLW Fusion on the beIN Sports network, as well as periodic live shows at Gilt.

Parker managed the Dirty Blondes – Leo Brien and Michael Patrick – on an independent show in Alabama last year, so when the tag team surfaced in MLW, they soon called Parker, who lives less than two hours away.

“I didn’t know how much I want to get involved, but I like these boys,” Parker said in a telephone interview. “I wound up falling in love with the company. They have so many people who used to work for WCW and WWF behind the scenes so when I walk around, everything from the cameraman to Tony Schiavone on commentary, they’re all old buddies. I’m having a lot of fun with it. If I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be doing it.”

Parker soaked in the crowd’s cheers that first night in Orlando, but he has since set about trying to change it – after all, he’s the dastardly manager of four dangerous heels. He has spent much of his career encouraging others – including not only Austin, but Mick Foley and the Honky Tonk Man -- to bring out the nasty side of their personalities on screen; the Blondes are just his latest project.

Parker said: “I look at them and I think, ‘You’re the nicest two guys I ever met, but you’re bad guys and you can’t have that soft-spoken interview. I want you loud, obnoxious, belligerent, horrible characters. Work on your character in a mirror and look at yourself until it scares you.’”

Parker’s own persona came about when Vicious brought him into WCW in 1993. As Robert Fuller, the Tennessee Stud, he had played a more serious character as a wrestler/manager for promoters Jerry Jarrett and Jim Cornette, but a more humorous touch was sought to balance Vicious’ intensity.

“[WCW management] wanted more light, not so much heat, not so much of a bad guy,” Parker said. “They liked the cartoon kind of thing. I went in with Sid, put the white suit on with the cigar and the white hat and turned into Foghorn Leghorn and the people loved me right away.”

Writers tightly scripted Parker’s debut interview in WCW, but he had his own ideas for the character and pleaded with booker Dusty Rhodes for some leeway.

“Dusty explained, in WCW now, everything has gone like the movies. They have these writers and they get very upset if you don’t use [what they wrote]. I just hung my head down, [thinking] ‘Good Lord.’ Dusty said, ‘Well, what you got?’

“So I just laid out an interview for him and Dusty said, ‘Hey baby, throw that [bleep] in the garbage. You do your thing.’ They never wrote another thing for me.”

Parker had all the tools to become a comedy character right away.

“It was God’s gift to me because I’ve always been a full-of-crap type of guy and funny,” Parker said. “All my buddies, we’ll do a 300-mile trip in the car both ways, we get back home and the guys would say, ‘Oh gosh, we’re already home.’ Because I’ve got story after story, so car trips go fast. I just told my stories and the country sayings I learned growing up on the farm and I made a ton of money just being full of crap.”

Now that Parker has become a staple in the young MLW locker room, he said some wrestlers ask him for advice, but the promotion’s creative team, including CEO Court Bauer and senior producer Bruce Prichard, do more than enough to help with promos and interviews.

“They have the best working on these young fellas and they won’t accept anything less,” Parker said. “If you watch Bruce watching one of these boys do an interview and it’s poor, I get a giggle out of it because I say he’s about to get his ass kicked…. ‘Worthless good for nothing, you’ve got no idea what I’m looking for. And you have to get it in the next 5 minutes.’ I tell him, I’m glad you’re doing that and not me. I applaud them for it.”

MLW Fusion airs Fridays at 8 p.m. on beIN Sports and is available on the promotion’s YouTube channel each Saturday at 6:05 p.m. Live shows return to Florida on Sept. 6 in Fort Lauderdale for War Games. For more information, visit MLW.com.