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"Giant Cannibal" Rescues Girl's Teddy Bear at Wrestling Show

Posted: Aug 26th 2007 By: CMBurnham

Carnie" Cody Deaner was up to his usual tricks tonight at the Tarentorus Sports club.

The carnival worker, who moonlights as a wrestler with Canadian Wrestling Entertainment (CWE), offered a young fan a teddy bear if she could throw a ball into a bucket three times.

The dreadful Deaner then dropped the bucket on her third throw, denouncing the local girl as "a loser like everyone else in Sault Ste. Marie" and denied her the teddy bear.

News quickly reached Kamala back in the dressing room.

The former World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) superstar, a cannibal who (we're told) hails from deep in the jungles of Uganda, made his way to the ring and flattered the carnival worker into trying his own game.

As luck would have it, Kamala dropped the bucket on Deaner's third throw.

A visibly-angry Deaner rushed the Ugandan giant and a slug-fest ensued.

To the cheers of hundreds of fans in attendance, Kamala put the dastardly carnival worker down for the three-count, invited the girl to the ring, and awarded her the teddy bear.

In other matches Super Kamakize beat "Mid-East Mauler" Hercules Aseev to advance to the main event.

Edward "Pipi" Osbourne pinned Espanola's Masked Hideous Blob to likewise advance to the main event.

Sault Ste. Marie's Otis Idol successfully defended his hometown's honour against always-irritable "Simply Irresistible" Joey Valentyne.

The always-popular Italianos overcame their opponents' rule-breaking to retain their CWE tag-team championship belts against "Canadian Queen" Jesse Jones and his protoge Magnificent Matthew.

Finally, the show ended with Edward "Pipi" Osbourne being crowned the new CWE Ontario champion.

Osbourne climbed a twelve-foot ladder to claim the championship belt, which had been suspended over the ring, ending the hard-fought ladder-match with Super Kamakize.