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The Iron Sheik Is Ready to Roast Everyone's Nuts

Posted: Oct 29th 2014 By: Ali Lerman

No one can dish it out quite like the Iron Sheik. And, even though he's no longer in the ring, he's still smacking people down. The legendary Iron Sheik is more into giving a complete and total verbal lashing these days, and on October 30th, he'll be stepping into a different ring but still promises to deliver the ultimate beat down when he hosts "Roast Rumble: The Ultimate Insult Fest" at Carolines on Broadway. With your chance to see the legend in the flesh coming up, we got the details on what to expect from the event and then got him to roast a few people as well because, hey, it's only right. Right?

If you could personally roast anyone, who would it be?

First I roast the Mexican raisin taco balls Mario Lopez. He forget once in while he need to break his fucking back like little burrito bitch.

OK wow! So as of now, who can we look forward to seeing hit the stage at Caroline's?

I have a lot of fucking jabronis that try to fuck with the legend but they going to get fucked old country way. First is that dumb broke no good son of a bitch Virgil. He more dumb than 50 dead dogs. I be happy, I break his fucking neck, and make him eat shit forever. Blue Meanie, he retarded smurf that shit his pants every day. Never mind he also more ugly than Mel Gibson mother. Nikolai Volkoff, he my partner for 30 years but he cheap son of a bitch. He eat eggs for dinner and he smell like ass of raccoon. He deserve I break his fucking back for the people. I have more people but I keep the surprise for the people.

You're a good man Shekie. Who do you want roasted the most?

Somebody teach the fucking Virgil lesson make him know he biggest fucking jabroni on the earth.

Is there anyone on the line-up you think might break down because they can't take "the real?"

The Nikolai. He always cry for movie like the fucking Notebook. He deserve the people tell him that he have balls smaller than the mosquito.

Awww, poor Nikolai's balls! Do you have any advice for the roasters?

Be ready training vitamin, cold beer, and shish kebob. You become Olympic roast class but if not than you are fucking jabroni.

How will this roast will be different than the other ones you've hosted?

This one in greatest city in the world, New York. I sold out the Madison Square Garden most famous arena in the world and this city always be good to the legend. I become WWE champion in the New York. I become Tag Team Champion in the New York. I meet one of my best friends intelligent Jew Howard Stern in the New York. This way I show greatest city in the world that I still the legend forever. I fuck up everybody who come near me because I am the real legend, not that cocksucker Justin Bieber

Ha! Yeah, screw Bieber! OK so just to get us in the mood, we'd love for you to roast a few people...

Adrian Peterson:

YOU COCKSUCKER NO GOOD MOTHERFUCKER. YOU HIT THE LADY THIS WAY I NEVER RESPECT YOU OR YOUR DUMB BITCH MOTHER. FOREVER YOU HAVE RAISIN DICK AND I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON BALLS TILL YOU DIE.

Derek Jeter:

You are Iron Sheik class. You make New York proud still, you never fool the legend. You do more steroid than Hulk Hogan and your balls shrink smaller than midget snail. I love you but still, GO FUCK YOURSELF FOREVER.

Paula Deen:

YOU EAT CHEESEBURGER YOU HAVE CHEESEBURGER TITS. I NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR YOU INSULT MY BLACK INTELLIGENT BROTHER. I WISH YOU GET THE EBOLA IN THE ASS.

Colin Kaepernick:

YOU NEVER SOLD OUT THE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. YOU NOT THE HALL OF FAME. YOU NEVER SOLD OUT THE COW PALACE. YOU HAVE NOSE LOOK LIKE THE GONZO AND THE GANDHI. TILL YOU BECOME IRON SHEIK CLASS YOU CAN SUCK MY BALLS.

Well done sir! Are there any plans of doing a Comedy Central Roast in the future so fans worldwide can watch and laugh as well?

I hope so. I pray to the Jesus people know they want to see me. I speak to most the intelligent Jew business man in the world they help me become the legend like the Don Rickles or the Ryan Phillipe. This way I be happy forever.