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Markus Gronemann talks Ultimate Warrior

Markus Gronemann talks Ultimate Warrior

Posted: Apr 13th 2014 By: Markus Gronemann

I thought a lot about what the Ultimate Warrior meant to me during my earliest days as a wrestling fan over the last few days and came to the conclusion that he probably meant even more than Hulk Hogan, both on television and during live events. It also crossed my mind that the bastard basically did what Jake Roberts so fittingly called "masturbating with my emotions" during his HoF speech. He raised my pure and innocent, nimble little wrestling-fan soul up to the highest highs and threw it down into the dirt to rot, over and over again in those early years of my wrestling fandom. I'll probably ramble on quite a bit now, so sorry if this is too long just don't read, but I feel the need to pour all of this out, so screw it, here we go:

The Ultimate Warrior, along with Hulk Hogan, basically was my entryway into the whacky world of professional wrestling and was my absolute favorite wrestler in the world during the period when Hogan wasn't around in '92.

WWF aired on a German cable channel here in Austria and at our apartment, we only had network tv (which was just the two national public channels at the time so go figure how times have changed). My parents were building a house at the time that actually had a dish and at one point, probably during the first half of 1991, I chanced upon wrestling, some sort of battle royal and I remember Jake putting the Snake on somebody but not much else (it might have been the 4/27 SNME battle royal that Mr. Perfect won). Anyway, I was totally fascinated but never found out when or where wrestling would be airing. Enter the early fall of 1991 when I spent a Friday night at my grandparent's place, who had cable. I was watching tv with my grandma, probably some movie that was over and dialed through the channels and OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! there was wrestling on. And not just any match but the final portion of SummerSlam '91 (they used to chop PPVs up into multiple parts and air it in weekly installments here at the time) with Hogan & Warrior vs. Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan. I had no idea who any of the three guys in the military outfits were but there was this huge balding muscular blonde dude and for some reason I probably even had hear about Hulk Hogan at the time and then there was this crazy, even more muscular guy in the facepaint! From that point on, I spent every Friday night at my grandparents' place and watched wrestling (usually WWF Challenge syndicated shows). Of course Warrior was gone immediately afterwards and I was hooked on Hogan and devastated when he lost to Undertaker at Survivor Series. Also I always wanted Warrior to come and help him, but he never did and never was around which seemed weird and made little me very sad.

Then WrestleMania VIII came around. I actually aired live on the German channel but it was a Sunday and I think aired at around 11 pm, I was nine years old, so there was no way I would be able to watch live. My other grandfather, who always was into video technology, and even back in the 80s owned two VCRs and had a good collection of movies he taped off television, actually would tape all the wrestling shows for me and even went as far as watching all of the tapes back and cutting out the commercials for me. Anyway, a few days after Mania had aired, I finally got a hold of the tape. Like I mentioned: nine years old, watching for about six months, no clue on what was going on backstage, no scoops, no internet, no Observer, no nothing. Shawn and Tito. Taker and Jake (2-0!). Bret and Roddy. Savage and Flair (wow, Savage won the gold, that made me mark out big time since Flair had dastardly screwed Hogan out of the title and thrown him out of the Rumble). Finally Hogan and Sid. Sid kicked out of the leg drop (which wasn't that big of a deal to me at the time, since in all honesty with the short time I had been watching and the few non-PPV, television matches Hogan did at the time, all I had seen up to that point were the two Undertaker matches for the title, his appearance in the '92 Rumble and the tag match at the SNME with him and Justice against Flair and Taker which set up Mania VIII). Then all hell broke loose and Papa Shango came in for the DQ. They pounded on Hogan. They wrapped him up in the ropes. I was so fucking mad at the injustice! Then suddenly - BOOM! - THE music hit! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! That's the Warrior's music!!! He ran in! He cleaned house! He hugged Hogan! They celebrated! It was awesome! He looked different, even though to me it wasn't the body but more the face and hairstyle. I watched it again. And again. And again. And when my mom came home from visiting our neighbor I told her! And showed her! And watched again! And again! Aaaaand AGAIN! God I loved the Warrior and I think his and Hogan's also were the first Hasbro action figures I got when these became available over here.

Of course, this time Hogan was gone and Warrior was back! He'd be at TVs now. He ran out. He shook the ropes. He cut some energetic promos (and I didn't really know any English at the time and mostly watched the German shows but I had found out that through the dish at our house we got British Sky, which still was free-to-air at the time and had the shows weeks before they were on the German station). And as the internet tells me, he even did two(!) tv squashes during that time. And I'm sure both the Skinner and the Brian Knobbs matches were classics!

About a week after Mania, WWF hit Germany for the first time and I convinced my parents to drive to Munich all the way from Vienna for the April 14 "WWF European Rampage Again" show. I was pumped and sooooo hoped to see Hogan and/or Warrior live. Neither was on the tour and the main events were Savage/Michaels and a battle royal won by British Bulldog. It was great, it was my first live wrestling experience, but neither of my two big heroes were there which still left me feeling kind of bummed.

Then there was the Papa Shango angle, another program that I somehow managed to miss key parts of, even though I usually watched every show religiously. I think I saw the green slime promo but missed the vomiting part, as I was away on a field trip with school for the week. Friends told me about it and in retrospect, just hearing about but never seeing it at the time, it sounded like the greatest and most fear-inducing thing EVER! And boy, did that dastardly Papa Shango have it coming for messing with the Warrior's digestive system as much as he did! Sadly, this was only a house show program.

They finally built up to SummerSlam. Savage and Warrior in a title match. I think I still hadn't seen WrestleMania VII at that time as I got the commercial tape of that show only a bit later, so it was a huge deal to me to see the two biggest stars facing off. Again, I had no chance to watch live as we were on holiday in Spain the day the show took place. But I remember being pumped about the match, talking about little else, carrying my Warrior action figure around all day. Then I watched the tape and was sad that Warrior didn't win the title and it was a count-out finish.

But wait, where there is shadow, there must be light. I remember watching Superstars on Sky early in the morning one weekend shortly after Savage had lost the title to Ric Flair. I remember being the only one up yet, with my parents still asleep. Savage was out for an interview with Mean Gene (who uttered the phrase "intestinal fortitude" as I just learned by rewatching it). Suddenly Warrior was out. I had been watching and buying American magazines for a little over a year now, so my English had improved somewhat. I understood certain parts, but it actually wasn't necessary. Savage pulled out a pair of sunglasses. Warrior put them on. They proclaimed they'd be the Ultimate Maniacs. HOLY SHIT!!! These two would be the greatest, most awesome, most unbeatable tag team EVER! They'd surely win the tag titles. They could split the world and IC titles between them. Hell, they probably could set out and conquer the world if they wanted to, because the were the ULTIMATE FUCKING MANIACS, bitch! I jumped around the couch like a madman, I pounded my chest, I did the Randy Savage raspy voice, I probably dropped a million flying elbows and big splashes to all the dastardly stuffed animals in the house.

Shortly after that I got a pet merione (look it up on Wikipedia, kids) and of course there was only one possible name it could be given, and that was Jimmy (since I had read Warrior's real name somewhere in an Apter mag). Well, turned out the little merione actually was more of a female warrior, but since Chyna hadn't yet popped up on the scene, the name just quickly got changed to Jinny and since the concept of that name totally confused my mom, the little bugger would eventually be called Jenny.

Anyway, let's get back to the Maniacs after this little digression into the realm of furry pets. They had one match against Money Inc. which I think was on a SNME which neither aired on the German nor British stations or at least I never saw it at the time. I was sure they'd win the tag titles then and there, but highlight clips on the weekend shows showed it had been a count-out finish. But they'd face Flair and Razor at Survivor Series! Only they didn't, as Warrior once again was gone and replaced by Mr. Perfect (who I never had seen wrestle up to that point and only knew as Flair's advisor). Well, he was a pretty good hand, but dammit, he was no Warrior. By that time, I slowly started migrating to being a bigger Bret Hart fan anyway, who was great in the ring and had recently won the title.

Then there was an announcement: On April 27, 1993, there would be a live wrestling show in Vienna, "the first ever" (little did I know that there was wrestling basically every day during the summer in Vienna and I probably could have gone and seen Lance Storm compete for Otto Wanz' CWA and that wrestling had had a long tradition in Vienna, all the way back to the early 1900s). And who was to be the headliner? Why nobody but the FUCKING ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now this was World Wrestling's Superstars, basically a touring-only promotion in Europe who had a mix of older stars and younger upcoming talent (I saw both of Public Enemy in different gimmicks against one another, Jake Roberts, Warlord, Greg Valentine, Cuban Assassin, Butch Reed, Madusa, Bambi, Peggy Lee Leather and various others on that card). I went there and boy did I have a blast! The main event was Warrior and Hercules. Warrior ran out (a bit disappointingly I think not to his WWF theme), shook them ropes, clotheslined Hercules around (Hercules had come out with his trademark chain), got a bit of heat, was attacked outside by Hercules and his manager, Warrior propped a wooden table (a real one, not a wrestling one) up between the bottom and middle rope, smashed Hercules into it, smashed his manager into it, clothesline, clothesline, clothesline, flying shoulderblock, big splash, 1-2-3! The place exploded! I exploded! The universe exploded! Warrior exploded! It was awesome! Warrior grabbed Hercules' chain, spun it in circles over his head, by some chance managed not to loosen his grip and kill a bunch of people. Memories of this match will forever be burned into my brains. It probably went only 10 minutes and actually was the shits, but thinking back it surely must have been a 60 minute classic filled with drama and the finest workrate this side of Tanahashi/Okada. Of course years later I found out through an old Observer back issue that Warrior and Warlord in classic Warrior fashion had held up the promoter for more money and threatened to walk out if he didn't agree, since the whole tour was sold out. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

I also saw Hogan a few months later, on July 29, 1993 when WWF first came to Vienna. I marked out and it was big for me, but it was a typical Hogan match against Yokozuna nontheless (Hogan won by DQ), so there just wasn't that same level of pure, raw energy and excitement that the Warrior match had.

After that, Warrior was semi-retired and faded slightly into the background for me. I was somewhat excited for him to come back at WrestleMania 12, but I was really looking forward to Shawn vs Bret by then, had been a huge Diesel mark in between and was on the verge of being smartened up, as shortly thereafter I would be ordering my first print Observers. Of course by then I read about all the backstage crap going on in the Observer and of how Warrior and WWF had once more parted ways. I read about the WCW deal and since Nitro aired on the European version of TNT at the time of course I saw him come on for the first time. I think I had already heard about what a disaster his first appearance had been (I was on holiday that week again but I'm pretty sure a friend who had read a recap on the internet told me on the phone) but needed to see it myself. The funny thing is, I have basically no recollection of the whole thing, just remember I was watching it at my aunt's place as we were visiting them on our way home from the holiday. I remember the Hogan match being awful, and Warrior finally fading away for good.

Then there were all the legends and crazy stories. His legal battles with Vince. The guy actually changing his legal name to Warrior. Stories of him being a nutcase. The infamous Santa Bondage comics. His "queering doesn't make the world work" speech. His final match with Orlando Jordan for NEW in Spain. The self-destruction DVD and lawsuit. And then the 2K deal. A slight mark out for Warrior laying waste to that office, running around like only the Warrior can do. And finally the announcement that he and WWE had come to terms on the Hall of Fame and a new DVD.

I watched the Hall of Fame last weekend with as much excitement as anybody. I secretly even hoped that he would give the most crazy, rambling, outrageous, outlandish speech ever but then Mr. T beat him to it. I still enjoyed his speech a lot. He said some smart things, some dumb things, gave out a few receipts, was self-reflective and even came across humble at times. I found a new respect for the guy. He seemed happy, he seemed legit, he seemed ready to move on after talking in front of his peers, thanking them but also telling them how some of the comments they made on him over the years had been hurtful. He really seemed, above anything else, to be a proud father, husband and son. My brother and I were pretty blown away by his really beautiful wife. He seemed to love his daughters a lot and they seemed to love him a lot too. Then there was Mania. We had brief hopes he'd do a full blown old school Warrior entrance in face paint, tassles and shaking them ropes like Austin had done on the quad a few years back, but had no such luck. The next night on RAW it became obvious why, since he was blown up just by getting into the ring and shaking them ropes. Since Sky Germany had recently lost the rights to WWE this was the first episode of RAW I had to watch on a crappy stream live, so I didn't fully notice how bad he looked right away, rather than than someone watching in HD might have. But he put on the "face paint mask". He grunted. He cut a classic Warrior promo, that was a part inspiring, part whacky and part incomprehensible. And part eerie and full of dark foreboding when watched it back in retrospect.

Then on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, as I was about to go to sleep at around 4 or 5 am I checked my phone one last time and read Bryan's tweet on how the "Warrior was dead and condolences to all". At first my mind went blank, then numb, then I got goosebumps, then tears shot to my eyes. I checked the Observer front page, WWE.com, Twitter, Facebook. This seemed legit. But it could not be. The Warrior had just been on the grand stage every day, over the last three days. He would be a WWE ambassador. He would be trotted out about twice a year, probably during Old School RAW or other major shows and cut whacky Warrior promos. He'd maybe do an angle or at least appearance when Sting would eventually come in. He'd be around as a talking head on DVDs on some of his peers from back in the day. He might even have another falling out with Vince down the line. And he'd be a proud husband and father. He'd be devastated at his mother's funeral. He'd be crying joys of tears during his daughters' graduations, weddings and when holding his grandkids for the first time. He'd Always Believe and would make others Alway Believe in turn! But he would not just be gone within a day of his last major appearance at the age of 54.

Damn it, Warrior! 23 years after first seeing you and you being gone right away, after you coming back in the greatest comeback ever and being gone six months later, then coming back to beat the future boss in seconds and being gone in a mere three months again, you managed to put me on that emotional roller coaster, appearing and leaving within the span of only four days one last time. And I guess, in a nutshell, generating such raw and intense emotions in the hearts of other people, leaving impressions in the brains of people, which can be recalled without effort more than 20 years later and being a common talking point with lapsed fans decades after they watched their last match was the real power of the Ultimate Warrior - and that's the reason why even though Jim "Warrior" Hellwig might tragically have passed on, the Ultimate Warrior will never die!

 

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