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Ring Intruders Unable To "Avenge" Loss Of Tag Team Titles

Posted: Aug 24th 2011 By: CMBurnham

Some people call pro wrestlers live-action superheroes. The Ring Intruders attempted to take that one step further to reality this past Saturday. All to no avail as it seems like it will take The Hulk or Thor to bring the SRPW Tag Team Titles back to them.

Fuel and UWE Champion Jon Cross had dominated the tag team picture for several months as MERC Tag Team Champions. Then, at the last MERC event, Big Smooth made his debut and promised that he had someone to team with and challenge for the tag team championship. That ended up being Pork Chop and the duo certainly posed a strong threat to the champions based on size alone. Cross & Fuel spent most of the match complaining about how big the challengers were and how it wasn't fair that they had to face them. But Smooth Pork didn't let any of that distract them. When the Intruders' manager, Dustin McGowan, got up on the apron to distract the referee, Cross went to the top rope, but accidentally got crotched by McGowans' actions. Pork Chop then delivered a splash to Cross and covered him. Cross' leg was extended and on the bottom rope, but referee Daemon Storm never saw it and counted three, allowing the titles to change hands. Cross and Fuel were irate, blaming the loss of the titles on their manager and eventually assaulting him after publicly firing him.

One month later, the memories of the title loss still rang true for the duo and they seemed to have some idea of a plan, misguided though it might be. Cross & Fuel came to the ring for an interview, dressed as Thor and Captain America, respectively. The proclaimed that it had come to their attention that Mounds had no heroes except for Jake O'Brien and that they were there to fix that. But they obviously hadn't thought things through very well as, periodically during the promo, they would stop and ask each other "Is this right? Are we doing this right?" All these shenanigans led to the arrival of Smooth Pork, but the Ring Intruders didn't back down. Instead, after the champions entered the ring, Cross & Fuel threw their tiny plastic shield and hammer at Big Smooth & Pork Chop....with about as much effect as a gnat hitting an elephant. The champions wasted no time in attacking the would-be superheroes, stacking them in a corner so that Smooth could deliver a Stinkface to them, prompting Cross to find the nearest bucket and empty the contents of his stoumach into them.

Many would assume that encounter would prompt some underhanded tactics or special focus from the challengers, but that didn't seem to be the case. Still wearing the costumes, the Intruders arrived and demanded to get their titles back. Smooth Pork showed no signs of backing down either. The match started with Pork Chop facing off against Jon Cross. Cross attempted several feats of strength, all involving lifting Pork Chop off his feet. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen, but to Cross' credit, every time Chop attempted to body slam him, he would reverse/wrestle his way out of danger. On the outside, Fuel called foul on everything that Pork Chop would do, including "illegal use of the head" (for a headbutt), illegal use of the fist (for a closed fist, which is actually illegal) and "illegal use of the nipple" (for Pork Chop doing a Titty Twister on Jon Cross). Eventually, the Intruders took over on Pork Chop, busting him open on the side of his head. But Pork Chop fought back and brought Big Smooth in. At that point, a double splash by Smooth Pork on the challengers .led to the pin and another win. Again, the issue of a foot on the rope by Cross came up and the Intruders again lost their cool, giving Storm a DVD, but Smooth Pork came back to the rescue. Fuel, not always the smartest crayon in the box, argued with everyone he could see on the way back to the dressing room, including the security guard, until said guard pulled his gun out, showing that he was having none of Fuel's mouth.

Cross could be heard telling Fuel that they "should have been Batman & Robin" after the loss.

Losing the tag team title rematch seems to send the Ring Intruders to the bottom of the ladder and there are several other tag teams, such as the Tremor Brothers, the Jersey Kings and The Foundation, which look to be in line for a shot at the champions. Perhaps the Intruders played the costume card too early, as Halloween is still a couple of months away.