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Missy's Manor: Missy Gets A Shoutout On Bill Simmons' ESPN.com Letterbag

Missy's Manor: Missy Gets A Shoutout On Bill Simmons' ESPN.com Letterbag

Posted: Aug 29th 2009 By: CMBurnham

From Bill Simmons' on ESPN.com letterbag:


Q: I am a big fan of your idea of "Press Box Hot" in which any remotely attractive woman instantly becomes a supermodel when she walks into the press box. While in summer school this week, I realized this also applies to the awful classrooms in August full of dudes and freaky chicks. It made me think of other places where "Press Box Hot" comes into play like church, sports collector conventions and Star Wars premieres. Any others?
-- Evan, Hope Valley, R.I.


SG: You forgot Seedy Strip Joint Hot; Female Blackjack Dealer Hot; Women's Professional Athlete Hot (Danica Patrick and Jennie Finch are undeniably cute, but stick them in the sports world and they suddenly become Victoria's Secret models); American Gladiators Hot; '80s Movies Hot; Cleaning Lady Hot (we all have at least one friend who talked themselves into an older cleaning lady once and had his way with her, and if you don't have this friend, that means YOU were the friend); Nanny Hot; Sports Bar Waitress Hot (the Carla Tortelli complex); Wedding Hot; Female Musician Hot (which is what makes the bassist for Stellastarr* so hot, because she'd be hot anyway, but as a bassist in an indie band, she's jaw-droppingly, stupefyingly hot); Hip Hop Backup Singer Hot; Beach Around 3 p.m. When You're Overheated & A Little Punchy Hot; Pregnant Hot (you're damned right I went there); Goth Hot; Tattooed Hot; and my personal favorite, '80s Female Pro Wresting Hot.

Explanation for the last one: When I was 14, along with everyone else in my age range, I absolutely believed that (A) Wendi Richter was super-attractive, (B) Miss Elizabeth wasn't just beautiful, but classier than Princess Di or Nancy Reagan, and (C) I would sacrifice 10 solid years off the tail end of my life to see Missy Hyatt naked for 10 seconds. As far as I can tell, that's the widest swing between "actual attractiveness" and "perceived attractiveness," which is why '80s Female Pro Wrestling Hot tops everything else, including Press Box Hot and Sports Collector Convention Hot. I'm glad I'm here.


Because of that article,Missy Hyatt was the No. 53 searched for thing on Google yesterday. Rey Mysterio nor anyone in WWE or UFC were not in the top 100.

 

Tags: Missy Hyatt

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  • 1978 Terry Latham & Ricky Fields def. Seigfried Stanke & Kurt Von Hess for the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Titles
  • 1984 Adrian Street def. Terry Taylor for the MSW Television Title
  • 2004 John O'Malley def. Mr. Brown for the ACW Hardcore Title
  • 2009 Jeremy Quinn III became the ACW Heavyweight Champion
  • 2014 Paul Puertorico def. Matt Majestic for the SRPW United States Title
  • 2020 Brian Dixon def. Ethan Cole for the BPW Lion Heart Title
  • 2020 The Ritual (Samedi & Shadow Gemini) became the BPW Oklahoma Tag Team Champions
  • 2025 Riley Grinn def. Tommy Dean for the BUW No Pressure Title

Week of Sun 09-20 to Sat: 09-26

  • 09-20 1978 Jose Lothario def. Assassin 1 for the TSW Louisiana Title
  • 09-20 1985 The Von Erichs (Kerry Von Erich & Kevin Von Erich) def. The Dynamic Duo (Gino Hernandez & Chris Adams) for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
  • 09-20 2008 Michael Barry def. Angel Williams for the IZW Heavyweight Title
  • 09-20 2008 New Canada (The Canadian Red Devil & The Canadian Luchadore) became the ComPro Tag Team Champions
  • 09-20 2008 The Gentlemen Thugs (Cast-Iron Cothern & Shane Morbid) def. New Canada (The Canadian Red Devil & The Canadian Luchadore) for the ComPro Tag Team Titles
  • 09-20 2009 Jermaine Johnson def. Ky-ote Joe for the MSWA Oklahoma Title
  • 09-20 2013 Mike Foxx def. Tim Storm for the NWA-TXO Heavyweight Title
  • 09-20 2013 Genesis (Carrion Arcane & Kristopher Haiden) def. The Rock Star Mafia (Dane Griffin & Armani) for the NWA-TXO Tag Team Titles
  • 09-20 2013 The Rock Star Mafia (Dane Griffin & Armani) def. Genesis (Carrion Arcane & Kristopher Haiden) for the NWA-TXO Tag Team Titles
  • 09-20 2014 Kevin Morgan & became the IZW Tag Team Champions
  • 09-20 2014 Jordan Jacobs def. Drake Gallows for the IZW Impact Division Title
  • 09-20 2014 Claudia def. Bree Ann for the NWA-TXO Rose Title
  • 09-20 2014 The Brotherhood (Kyng Benjamin & Akuma Jones) def. A. C. Slaughter (Aaron Anders & Clint Cassidy) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
  • 09-20 2014 Fuel def. Tim Rockwell for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 09-20 2025 Gideon Vane became the EPW International Champion
  • 09-20 2025 Miles Bane became the NAW Openweight Champion
  • 09-20 2026 Neo Genesis def. T. J. Spade for the ASP WTF Title
  • 09-21 1954 Johnny Valentine def. Joe Christie for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 09-21 2002 Shadow of Death def. Terry Montana for the OCW Oklahoma Hardcore Title
  • 09-21 2012 Tim Storm became the NWA-TXO Heavyweight Champion
  • 09-21 2012 Kyra Maya became the NWA-TXO Rose Champion
  • 09-21 2013 Nasty Swag (Robert Lee & Ace Archuleta) became the UWE Tag Team Champions
  • 09-21 2019 Slice & Kill (Skylar Slice & Killista) def. The Proclamation (Ethan Cole & Reed) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
  • 09-21 2024 Brandon Warhawk def. Seth Daniels for the UWE Apex Title
  • 09-21 2024 Fuel def. Killbane for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 09-21 2024 Party Bird Crew (Smitty & Birdman) def. Black Flag Rising (Anarchy [2nd] & Faded Ghoul) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
  • 09-21 2024 Super Crash Brothers (Badger James & Trench Blythe) def. Party Bird Crew (Smitty & Birdman) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
  • 09-21 2026 T. J. Spade def. Will Chambers for the CAPW Heavyweight Title
  • 09-22 1971 Bill Watts def. Dusty Rhodes for the TSW North American Title
  • 09-22 2001 Jenna Love became the OPW Oklahoma Womens Champion
  • 09-22 2001 Justin Lee def. Dexter Hardaway for the OPW Oklahoma Light Heavyweight Title
  • 09-22 2012 Crossfire Morrison def. Drake Gallows for the SWCW Hardcore Title
  • 09-22 2012 Kareem Sadat def. Crossfire Morrison for the SWCW Hardcore Title
  • 09-22 2023 Tommy Prince became the TexPro Dynasty Champion
  • 09-22 2023 Nashoba became the MajCW 24/7 On Call Champion
  • 09-22 2023 Skidz def. Nashoba for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
  • 09-22 2023 Oscar Amazing def. Skidz for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
  • 09-22 2026 Billie the Kiid def. Neo Genesis for the ASP WTF Title
  • 09-22 2026 Neo Genesis def. Billie the Kiid for the ASP WTF Title
  • 09-23 1974 Tex McKenzie & Johnny Valentine def. The Blackjacks (Blackjack Mulligan & Blackjack Lanza) for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
  • 09-23 1975 Jose Lothario def. Billy Graham for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 09-23 2000 Grenade def. Ichiban [2nd] for the OPW Oklahoma Light Heavyweight Title
  • 09-23 2016 Xavior became the MSWA Mid-South Cruiserweight Champion
  • 09-23 2016 Nikki Knight def. Skylar Slice for the MSWA Ladies Title
  • 09-23 2016 Psycho Mike def. Brock Landers for the MSWA Oklahoma Title
  • 09-23 2017 Kikutaro def. Ryan Davidson for the ComPro Oklahoma X Division Title
  • 09-23 2017 Dusty Gold def. Randy Price for the IZW Impact Division Title
  • 09-23 2017 Erica def. Paige Turner for the IZW Womens Title
  • 09-23 2017 Double D def. Kevin Morgan for the IZW Heavyweight Title
  • 09-23 2017 Drake Gallows def. Sam Stackhouse for the BCW Buzzsaw Title
  • 09-23 2017 Xavior def. C. J. Ward for the MSWA Mid-South Heavyweight Title
  • 09-23 2017 The Omega (O’Brien & O’Malley) def. The Cursed (Blade [2nd] & Kuda) for the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Titles
  • 09-23 2023 Skidz def. Oscar Amazing for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
  • 09-23 2023 Koko def. Dan Webber for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 09-23 2023 Sweetness (Cappuccino Jones & Romeo Reese) def. Southern Aristocracy (Eddie LeVaughn & Anthony Wild) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
  • 09-23 2023 Killbane def. Leo Fox for the UWE Apex Title
  • 09-24 2002 The Professionals (John Zorthos & Julian Wolfenbarger) became the ACW Tag Team Champions
  • 09-24 2016 Ricky Starks def. Ky-Ote for the IWR Revolutionary Title
  • 09-24 2022 London Calling (Dutch Hagen & Richie Adams) def. Toxic Masculinity (Johnny Lightning & Johnny Dynamite) for the WFC Tag Team Titles
  • 09-24 2022 Martin Justice def. Tyler Watts for the EPW International Title
  • 09-24 2022 Logan Knight def. Kareem Sadat for the EPW All-American Title
  • 09-24 2022 Olivier Vegos def. Danni Bee for the NCWO Women's Title
  • 09-25 1965 Don Kent def. Red McKim for the TSW Missouri Junior Heavyweight Title
  • 09-25 1981 The Great Kabuki def. Kerry Von Erich for the WCCW American Heavyweight Title
  • 09-25 1999 Big Daddy Moore def. Rocco Valentino for the OPW Oklahoma Heavyweight Title
  • 09-25 1999 The Casualties of War (Malice & Shrapnel) def. Red Eagle & Night Hawk (subbing for Thunderwolf) for the OPW Oklahoma Tag Team Titles
  • 09-25 1999 Kid Flash def. Tarantula for the OPW Oklahoma Light Heavyweight Title
  • 09-25 2004 Michael Barry def. Brandon Groom for the NWA-OK Oklahoma Heavyweight Title
  • 09-25 2010 Wage def. Bernie D for the IZW Impact Division Title
  • 09-25 2026 Boom Boom Groom def. Neo Genesis for the ASP WTF Title
  • 09-26 1978 Terry Latham & Ricky Fields def. Seigfried Stanke & Kurt Von Hess for the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Titles
  • 09-26 1984 Adrian Street def. Terry Taylor for the MSW Television Title
  • 09-26 2004 John O'Malley def. Mr. Brown for the ACW Hardcore Title
  • 09-26 2009 Jeremy Quinn III became the ACW Heavyweight Champion
  • 09-26 2014 Paul Puertorico def. Matt Majestic for the SRPW United States Title
  • 09-26 2020 Brian Dixon def. Ethan Cole for the BPW Lion Heart Title
  • 09-26 2020 The Ritual (Samedi & Shadow Gemini) became the BPW Oklahoma Tag Team Champions
  • 09-26 2025 Riley Grinn def. Tommy Dean for the BUW No Pressure Title
09-26
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