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Missy's Thoughts on Shoot Interviews, Kayfabe Commentaries, Kevin Sullivan and PWR

Posted: May 18th 2008 By: CMBurnham

I'm sorry for the delayed Missy Manor article. I'm sorry to the four people who look foward to them [Mom, Dad, Bryan Alvarez, and Dave Meltzer]
They will be relieved that I'm cranking out this last minute article. I been really busy lately with my guitar hero tour, my quest for a WWE Legends Figure, and my gardening.

Coming soon to DVD is "On The Road With Missy". The DVD cronicles "Super Agent" Scott Epstein taking me to bookings. I call Scott a "cheap Jew" [despite Scott being one of the most honest people I ever dealt with]. Scott than mentions how I'm Jewish. This results in me throwing a full bottle of diet coke at his head [I'm straight edge, but I'm not getting the diet coke logo tatooed on me]. We get to a wrestling booking and I make unreasonable demands for my medicine [chocolate ice cream]. This ends in me not performing until Scott gets me my medicine. Eventually I do a shoot interview, in which my agent actually takes a legitimate cut for all of his hard work. I threaten to shoot on Eric Bischoff because he's "a no good f****t". I than threaten to f**k him in the a** and make him humble. In actuallity, I would rather sodomize him with a barbed wire baseball bat. The interview wraps up with me smacking my agent in front of fans, despite getting me decent pay, getting me dates, driving me, taking a proper cut, running my gimmick table, and being a personal friend.

Two weeks ago, I did a autograph signing for Kayfabe Commentaries at Legends Of The Ring. I get to my gimmick table and too my dismay, there is empty beer cans scattered all over the place. The cans were courtesy of WSU promoter, Sean McCaffrey. There are times in which I dread going to wrestling related functions, but you won't catch me drinking beer at the hotel entrance. Than Sean had his promotion's table cluttered with merchandise and beer cans. Luckily WSU honcho blew off the rest of the convention to blow his tax return at Atlantic City on beer and hookers. This expierence opened up my eyes on my next wrestling business venture. I'm getting a consortium to buy out WSU and become CEO and President. It's about time I run a wrestling organization that is ran under my vision. Stooges and money marks are welcome for roles and pushes.

Back to the convention and reality, Sean Oliver and company are first class people. I had a blast at signing autographs at their table. They are very witty and passionate about wrestling. This is evident in their various products. They even gave me a bunch of DVD's to watch and review. I love free wrestling merchandise, so I gladly accepted it. I ran in to old friends that I haven't seen in awhile in Barry Darsow, Scorpio, and others. I had a blast interacting with fans. We discussed hockey, wrestling, and myself [my favorite topic]. I had a blast hanging out with Dawn Marie [total sweet heart]. When we took some pics together with a few fans, they got their $$$$ worth big time. We gave them "Cleavage, Ohio". That's our nickname for, screw it, figure it out your damn self. Just bring up "Cleavage, Ohio" to Dawn Marie at all signings and wrestling appearances. Dawn and her friend Michelle are the greatest people to hang out with at shows.

I got a chance to watch some of Kayfabe Commentaries DVD's. The whole shoot interview has been over done. How did you start out? Who's your best opponent? Blah, blah, blah. They come up with new concepts for fresh DVD's. I'm not the biggest fan of Kevin Sullivan [honestly, I hate him for all the crap he did to Eddie Gilbert]. I watched his DVD with a open mind on the death of WCW. Nobody could have saved the company in 2000. The inmates were running the asylum. You can't book a product when everybody is more concerned about getting themselves over instead of the promotion. I couldn't book a single episode if I had to deal with wrestlers who won't job, go into business for themselves on interviews, and deal with factions of ego. I give any booker credit for lasting even a month in that situation. The Honky Tonk Man interview was my favorite. Honky is "cruel, but fair". His opinion on rats, drugs, and other wrestlers is certainly interesting.

I honestly didn't enjoy 'Rebuilding The Iron Sheik'. I'm happy that Iron Sheilk is still alive and making money. I just feel that many people exploit him for financial reasons and don't have his best interests. If you ever want to see somebody get exploited, than watch the DVD. There is nothing worst than a agent who cuts promos and thinks he's part of a act. I hope Iron Sheik is doing well, but it saddens me to see him placed in situations for people to laugh at him.

Guest Booker with James J Dillon was interesting. I always found J.J .to be very articulate about how he maps out his booking. He used to observe Eddie Gilbert's booking after Crockett bought out Watts. His booking seems very logical. I just have to question how he would book when ego's become uncooperative?

My final conclusion is Kayfabe Commentaries put out great products. I have to be really intrigued to watch wrestling interviews. Wrestlers all have ego's [I know I have one]. We all believe we drew sellouts, carried territories, over exaggerate [I'm big on overexaggerating], and did the right thing for the business. That's why I hate shoot interviews. Sean asks questions that relate to booking philosophies and senarios that give a insight on a wrestlers booking style and philosophy.

I had a blast working with Bobby Riddell's PWR on Saturday. I got to interview Greg Valentine. I thought it was memorable for me, since Greg Valentine almost started laughing during the interview. I had a blast talking to Greg about his pet pigs. He currently owns 3 pigs. I found it funny that he adopted a big pot belly pig named 'Missy' [no joke]. I guess i should be relieved that nobody named a rat as 'Missy'. I can't complain, my adopted Jack Russell is named 'Jake' [no, i did not name his after Jake Roberts]. I told Greg that we can con people by selling raffles for "Win A Lunch With Missy & Jake". We can collect $5 a ticket. Too bad the winner would win a lunch with Missy [the pig] and Jake [the psychotic Jack Russell].

I very rarely recommend wrestling books, unless I wrote it. I recently read Chis Jericho's book. I thought it was the most entertaining wrestling book I ever read. I enjoyed how he was a big wrestling fan who followed his dream. I found Chris to be so witty and entertaining. My biggest memory of Chris Jericho was at his first ECW show in Queens, NY in '96. I told my niece to take a picture with Jericho. I told her to do it, since Jericho looked like he was going to be super star. I'm glad I was correct. I became a Jericholic after reading this book. I'm not saying all these nice things, since I was mentioned on page #291. I was referred to as "drop dead gorgeous" [I am ignoring the five other valets that were mentioned with me].

Tags: Missy Hyatt, Barry Darsow, Eddie Gilbert, The Honky Tonk Man, Jake Roberts