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You don't have to love wrestling to love Jim Ross' 'Under the Black Hat' stories

Posted: Apr 21st 2020 By: Jimmie Trammel

Let’s divide the world into two kinds of people.

Liberals and conservatives? Nah. That’s childish stuff we need to get in the rear view mirror, ASAP.

Instead, let’s divide the world into these two kinds of people:

1. Those who love professional wrestling.

2. And those who don’t.

The good news is there’s a book that crosses the great divide.

It doesn’t matter if you are eaten up with pro wrestling or if you never acquired the taste. You’ll still find a lot to chew on in “Under the Black Hat,” the newest trek into print for Jim Ross, an Oklahoman whose broadcast work and other contributions to pro wrestling earned him spots in the WWE Hall of Fame, the NWA Hall of Fame and the National Wrestling Hall of Fame.

Ross wrote an autobiography (“Slobberknocker: My Life in Wrestling”) in 2017 that delved into his Westville roots and how his fraternity at Northeastern State University had to atone for past sins by doing something, you know, positive. The frat staged a pro wrestling card in Tahlequah and — happy accident — it led to a career in pro wrestling for Ross.

Seek out “Slobberknocker” and read it. But you don’t have to be familiar with the content in that book to enjoy the sequel. Ross is a storyteller who relates to the masses. It’s why he’s a beloved broadcaster, podcaster and a New York Times bestselling author. So of course he had enough material for a second book after delivering the goods in the first.

You could even go so far as to say the story means everything to Ross. He has sold the story, time after time, during his career, even if the story left him bleeding and battered in a wrestling ring.

Wait a second. Ross’ natural habitat is behind a microphone. What the heck was he doing in the ring?

Almost any storyline is ripe for exploration in pro wrestling. That’s especially the case if the plot/characters can get a rise out of the audience. The WWE’s scribes capitalized on Ross’ popularity (1.74 million Twitter followers) by finding ways for him get sliced and pummeled by the talent. If you want the audience to despise the heel, just have the heel kick the crap out of a sympathetic figure like “Good ol’ J.R.”

Stone Cold Steve Austin’s transformation from babyface to heel was complete when he attacked Ross and got “color.”

“Austin tried to control the blade job on my forehead but the scalpel cut fast, and it cut deep,” Ross said in the book. “I didn’t really have time to worry about the blood streaming down my face because Steve had moved on from that to punching me in the head.”

Ross cited other examples of getting crimson-ed, creamed and condiment-ed. One storyline called for Ross and fellow broadcaster Michael Cole to get sideways. Cole squirted a bottle of J.R.’s signature BBQ sauce on Ross, who had to seek medical attention because the sauce got in his eye. The feud carried on and Ross said he once punched Cole so hard that he broke a knuckle and split Cole’s lip.

Ross felt all “ugh!” about the broadcaster battle. But he and Cole went through with it for the greater good. When Ross was getting carved by Austin, his biggest worry was whether he was bleeding enough.

If there’s a hall of fame for company men and good soldiers, Ross belongs in that one, too. In Ross’ words, he was beaten up, busted open, fired, rehired, fired, replaced, brought back and set on fire. He once was told he was going to be fired immediately before going live during a televised event. It was one of many unnecessary humiliations. He spent eight days in an intensive care unit when diverticulitis wrecked 13 inches of his colon and, given a heads-up that he should watch the next WWE event on TV, he was “treated” to a comedy skit about his surgery. WWE chairman Vince McMahon pretended to pull various items from a fake rear end before concluding that Ross had his head up his butt.

This is as good a place as any to refer back to the suggestion that the book is for everyone and not just for those who are passionate about flying dropkicks because, really it’s about characters (some that he “discovered”) and relationships.

“Vince and I had a relationship that many people couldn’t figure out — me chief among them,” Ross wrote. “But I loved him for all he did for me and my family.”

Readers can’t help but root for the guy in the black hat. The book begins with Ross summoning the courage to resume his career after another bout of Bell’s palsy and, near the end, there’s a touching story about him returning to the microphone after losing his “angel” and wife, Jan, in a vehicular accident.

“I was completely broken, painfully alone,” he wrote.

Ross credited McMahon for giving him the opportunity to stay busy and be around a first love — wrestling — after Jan’s death. Ross wrapped up a 25-year relationship with WWE when his final contract with the company expired in 2018. He wrote that he had far more great times than bad times with the company.

Good times continue because he accepted an offer to be part of a new venture, All Elite Wrestling. He loves the stuff. Even if you don’t, you can still relate to what he experienced under that black hat