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Outlaws Burning Mad Over Loss To Mexecutioners

Posted: Sep 30th 2010 By: CMBurnham

One of the funnier memories from the film "Animal House" happens when John Belushi's character yells out "Food Fight!" and the entire cafeteria erupts into a disaster area. Food fights are never really amusing, but they're generally harmless.

Unless you mix food fights with wrestling. Then you get a situation where someone is going to be very unhappy with the results.

For 3 months, Ray Martinez had been fighting an uphill battle against the Texas Outlaws. The intial confrontations in MSPW saw the Outlaws get physical with the referee and some actions which came as a result of frustration from the Mexecutioners, resulting in both teams being DQed on July 20. Everyone knew that wasn't the end of the situation between the two, but no one could predict just how far the groups would go to settle their score.

One month later, on August 18, Martinez arrived to open the show, but things immediately seemed against him as he did not have Jesus Rodriguez with him. Also his arm was in a sling. Martinez told the crowd that he and Jesus had been jumped while delivering food to homeless people. Jesus had a family to provide for and didn't ask for that kind of treatment, so he had to leave Ray and go home. But Ray couldn't just crawl under a rock and let the Outlaws win. He had to have some retribution. On his own, he called out the Texas Outlaws and Bobby Burns and J. W. Harding had no problem coming out to face the lone Mexecutioner. Bobby said that Ray was nothing but the dirt under his shoes. Ray said that they had injured him, but they were going to have to beat him to death in order to keep him out of MSPW. Burns then removed his belt and began to violently lash Martinez with it. Selena, who had come to the ring with Martinez ran to the back and when she came back, she wasn't alone. She brought with her Martinez's other former associate in La M, Pork Chop!! After Pork Chop cleared the ring, Martinez told everyone that he could take beating, but he'd still come back. He then challenged the Texas Outlaws to a Mexican Death Match. Hardin demanded to know what the rules were in that match. Martinez would only tell him that it was "muy caliente". Feeling confident due to Martinez's injury, Burns accepted on behalf of the Outlaws. But still everyone was wondering what the rules to a Mexican Death Match were.

One month later, after whetting everyone's appetite, Martinez revealed the rules for the Mexican Death Match when the two teams finally met to end their war. The rules were rather simple. Both teams had 2 seconds. One second had a belt, the other had a cup full of scorching hot habanero peppers. Whenever one member from a team was thrown from the ring, they had to eat a habanero pepper. And they only had 10 seconds to do so. If they seemed reluctant or slow to do so, that's when the whip came into play. Martinez & Pork Chop seemed prepared. Martinez had grown up digesting foods like this and Pork Chop was no stranger to eating...well, much of anything. The Outlaws, on the other hand, were notably reluctant to participate, but could see no way out of the situation. And so both teams began the match. And very quickly Bobby Burns was knocked out of the ring where Al Carter held the cup of peppers and AWF Champion Justin Sane wielded the whip. Burns consumed a pepper and immediately began to feel its effects. Hardin was then ejected from the ring and forced to pop a pepper in his mouth. He, too, seemed shocked by just how spicy it really was.

It seemed like the battle might turn slightly when Pork Chop was tossed to the outside, but he threw a pepper in this mouth and bounced right back into the ring. No effect on him. And then the man whose idea this all was got pitched to the wolves (or, more precisely Kyle Everlast and Robbie Awesome). Just to show what a badass he was, Ray downed an entire bottle of hot sauce before consuming the pepper, then casually stepped back in for more competition. The Outlaws seemed extradordinarily concerned at this point. It seemed that the Mexecutioners had cast-iron stoumachs, but they were also thinking how to use the rules to their advantage. Even when the food assistants on the outside got involved (as Robbie Awesome delivered a massive whipping to Martinez on the second occasion he was thrown from the ring), the Mexecutioners never backed down from the fight. Pork Chop then put a very creative plan into effect. He forced J. W. Hardin into the corner, then backed himself up and delivered a stinkface. The smell of Pork Chop's rear end in his nose caused a natural reaction in Hardin and he wanted to get as much distance from that smell as he could, so he did the only logical thing: he bailed out of the ring. But as soon as he was outside, he realised he had to eat a pepper as a result. Martinez went on to pin Bobby Burns, but got powered out of the ring, eating another pepper and taking another vicious beating from Robbie Awesome. Burns then was kicked out of the ring and the same results were delivered to him.

With pretty much all the peppers eaten, Burns became desperate to bring the match to a close. He grabbed the cup of pepper juice from Kyle Everlast and threw it in Martinez's eyes. As Ray tried to regain his sight and the referee dealt with Everlast & Awesome, Pork Chop grabbed the paper cup from Al Carter and threw it in Burns' face. Pork Chop then picked Martinez up and dropped him on Burns for the pin. Even though neither man could see clearly, the referee could see perfectly and counted 3, giving the win to the Mexecutioners.

Burns shouted to everyone within earshot that the match shouldn't count as a loss because it wasn't sanctioned, so as far as he was concerned, they were still undefeated. And he, along with Hardin, Everlast & Awesome retreated to the locker room after the show was over. Martinez had gained revenge for the injuries to himself and Rodriguez as well as the humiliation they had suffered over the past couple of months. Now, Martinez could move on to other things in MSPW. Although the federation doesn't have tag team championships, Martinez hopes to move to the top of the tag team rankings. If he can do that, he believes that he doesn't need to have belts to show he's one of the best. And if you dare to cross him on that belief, he might even have some menu items for you to sample.