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Tommy's Take on Lucha Libre USA 7/16/10

Posted: Jul 18th 2010 By: mikeiles

- Alright...decided I'm gonna give this a shot: The first episode of Lucha Libre USA! MTV2 has said that they will run it for 52 weeks, but we'll see. I watched the preview special, and I know some of the guys, but not all of them.

- Here we go.

- Apologies in advance if my play by play really sucks.

- I don't care for the voice over announcer.

- Show opens with a montage of the guys in the ring andd some action shots.

- Ring girls are coming to the ring carrying flags.

- MASCARITA DORADA & MINI PARK will be taking on PEQUENO HALLOWEEN and CHI CHI (formerly Kwee Wee in WCW).

- Chi Chi is an "exotico", which is basically a crossdressing male competing as a woman. The rest are minis.

- The main event is MARCO CORLEONE (formerly Mark Jindrak) versus TINIEBLAS JR. in the Title tournament. That's kinda odd, because they made it sound in the preview like Corleone was the top face and Tinieblas the top heel. Having them in the first round of the tournament seems...interesting.

- Nigel Sherrod and Lalo Gonzalez are the commentators.

- We do have a six sided ring.

EL ORIENTAL, EL LIMON & NEUTRONIC vs PUERTO RICAN POWERS (San Juan Kid & PR Flyer) & MASCARA PURPURA

- El Limon trying to flip the audience off got blurred. Neutronic got an entrance video. I have no idea which is which in the PR Powers. Purpura is the captain for the technicos and Neutronic for the rudos, I believe. Gonzalez is doing the heel announcer thing. The captains are starting off with some chain wrestling. Armdrag by Purpura. Odd takeover by Neutronic but a nice elbow. They are discussing the rules differences. You must pin the captain OR both of the other two members. This is odd...it's like lucha in slow motion. Purpura with a...450 arm drag? El Oriental and El Limon jump Purpura when Neutronic powders. Three on one! They whip Neutronic into Purpura, and then he whips Purpura into a double elbow from them! Rudos standing tall. PR Flyer enters the ring...into a three on one. El Limon suplexes PR Flyer. El Oriental and Neutronic take turns with top rope splashes! San Juan Kid jumps in...to a three on one. Double flapjack on San Juan Kid and he eats a triple dropkick. Purpura jumps in...to a three on one. Alright.

Awesome! Purpura flips past them and gets caught for a face eraser by Neutronic, but El Limon and El Oriental charge and he ducks, so they nail Neutronic! He cartwheels past them and takes out Neutronic with a headbutt! Puerto Rican Powers off the top with a dropkick and a cross body on Limon and Oriental! Purpura with a twisting skytwister on Neutronic! Technicos standing tall! El Oriental takes out both PR Powers! He holds them for an El Limon dropkkick, but they move and Oriental eats the dropkicks! The rudos bail and the technicos dive on them!

Neutronic takes ovver on Purpura after a slow attack. Drop toe hold into the ccorner by Purpura! Neutronic takes over but misses a stinger splash! Nice spinebuster! Purpura is up top...Shooting Star Press but Oriental and Limon are in! Taking apart the PR Powers! Huh. You don't see faces whipped into each other very often. Technicos take the Rudos down, but misses dives off the top! Limon with a senton and Oriental with a German Suplex! Rudos win!

Winners: EL ORIENTAL, EL LIMON & NEUTRONIC via pinfall (Diving Senton and German Suplex)

- The technicos were REALLY rough. Purpura moves like he's in slow motion. Oriental and Limon looked pretty good, though. The technicos were made to look like crap, but I think that may be because they are.

- Back from the break and the rudos are still celebrating, and we get some replays.

- A promo from RJ Brewer of Phoenix, Arizona (get it?) he's an anti illegal immigration heel. I don't think MTV2 realizes that most of the country, according to EVERY poll, supports that law.

MINI PARK & MASCARITA DORADA vs PEQUENO HALLOWEEN & CHI CHI (w/Tigressa Caliente)

- Mini Park is the mini version of LA Park, formerly known as La Parka. I'm not sure if Pequeno Halloween is much shorter than full sized Halloween. Chi Chi came out to "Bad Romance". I believe Tigressa Caliente is the former Rhaka Khan. Halloween and Dorada starting it off. Halloween with a nice armbar, but Dorada with a leg scissors and flips him over! Big armdrag and armbar by Dorada! Halloween fights up, getting Dorada on his shoulder, but gets taken over! Again! Halloween twists it into a pinning position! Halloween misses corner charge and Dorada gets a springboard armdrag! Body attack! He springboards from the bottom rope to the top rope and into the ring on Halloween! Mini Park is in with Chi Chi! La Park is dancing and Chi Chi attacks! Chi Chi is having trouble attacking Mini Park and she loses her wig! Pequeno Halloween in and taking out Mini Park! Park fights him off but eats a clothesline. Mini Park directs Halloween to the floor! Baseball slide! Dorada with a cross body on Chi Chi! She catches him with a boot. Suplex attempt, but Dorada counters with a sunset flip! Big DDT by Dorada! Halloween wipes out Dorada! Dorada with a springboard shoulderblock! Dorada goes around the world on Halloween and then takes him down! Asai moonsault! Chi Chi attacks Mini Park! Huracanrana by Park! Tigressa attacks Park! Powerbomb!! Chi Chi scores the pin!

Winners: PEQUENO HALLOWEEN & CHI CHI via pinfall on Mini Park (Tigressa Powerbomb)

- MUCH crisper than the last match. Everyone looked like they know what they were doing, even if Chi Chi didn't do much more than kick and preen.

- Replays from the last match.

- Promo for Lujo Esquire, who apparently is loaded.

- Marco Corleone is doing pushups with his tubby sidekick when Tinieblas Jr. and Neutronic confront them and talk trash. Corleone doesn't look pleased with his pudgy buddy. They gave the guy's name on the preview special, but didn't mention him on the show today.

Lucha Libre USA Championship Tournament
TINIEBLAS JR (w/Neutronic) vs MARCO CORLEONE (w/Solid)

- Easily the two biggest guys we've seen so far. Tinieblas takes Corleone down. Corleone with a slow springboard clothesline. Tinieblas Jr. cuts the knee out. Abdominal stretch...but Corleone reverses! Tinieblas attacks! Neutronic attacks from behind! Solid "humorously" fails to get in the ring because he's too fat. Tinieblas is in control thanks to the double teaming. Corleone fights back but eats a pump kick! Tinieblas Jr. is taunting the crowd. Snap mare and a kick to the chest! Fireman's carry...dumps him in the corner and hits a splash. This thing is a squash so far. Corleone drops Tinieblas! But Tinieblas catches the Drop of Darkness (Edge-o-matic). Corleone with a desperation kick. Solid attacks Neutronic! Neutronic and Tinieblas bail out but Corleone dives on them! Neutronic gets involved and slows Corleone down, but Solid attacks again! School boy by Corleone! That's it!

Winner: MARCO CORLEONE via pinfall (school boy)

- Lizmark Jr. superkicks Corleone! A fourth, unidentified rudo attacks as well! We apparently have a heel faction!

- Next week, the tag team title tournament begins!

- Okay show. The tag match with the minis and Chi Chi was the best. Corleone got made to look like weak against Tinieblas even though he went over. The technicos in the opener were very, very rough though Purpuras had moments that looked good.