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The Impact Report

Posted: Sep 4th 2007 By: Chance Ryan

Editor's Note: This is an opinion column and all opinions are those of the authour.

Impact Zone Wrestling is the best professional wrestling in Oklahoma, period. No questions asked! After the show they put on this past Saturday, hands down it's the best wrestling for your hard earned money to spend on. If you have $5.00 to spend, spend it on IZW, because you have to be first hand to truly understand the feeling of being at a amazing show put on by IZW.

And now on to the show, it did begin quite peculiarly because there was no ring announcer present at the beginning of the show? Neither Ray Martinez or Steve O were present to start the show off, instead it was the owner of IZW Johnny Z who came to the ring first. Announcing to the crowd that neither men were going to be present tonight and that the crowd was seriously lacking in knowledge so they need to be taught by a teacher. "Coach" Gary Tool who came to the ring looking quite dapper. After Johnny Z handed over the microphone to Gary Tool, he announced to the crowd that no matter his place in Impact, Inc, that he was there to do a job and he would be doing it with no allegiances being played in the matches.

The first match of the night was the young up and coming superstar, Nathan Sensation tagging with the wise cunning veteran fan-favorite Striker against the unlikely duo of Damon Winzor and before his partner could be announced a video was shown in the back, it was the IZW Heavyweight champion "Mr. Saturday Night" Michael Barry accidentally bumping into the "Head of Security" Thomas Rumsfeld who was being accompanied as always by the "Secretary of the Press" Marianne Albright but before a fight could break out it was the calm Marianne who brought tension down by reminding Rumsfeld he had a match to get too. So Damon's partner for the night would be Thomas Rumsfeld who came from the back already frustrated and was going to take it out on anyone who got in his way no matter what. The match started off Striker against Rumsfeld but neither made a move on each other before tagging in their younger partners, Damon decided to dis Nathan Sensation by hitting him with a right handed slap this only served to infuriate Nathan who proceeded to work Winzor down to the ground with a technical series of moves that showed that the smaller Sensation was not going to stand down against the larger Damon Winzor. But after attempting a diving cross body block, Sensation might have been a little over his head, because Winzor capitalized on this mistake and proceeded to use his size advantage to a tee, because he hit a big body slam out of the move and a head rushing verticle suplex. After a bit of a double team bit down in the corner by Rumsfeld and Winzor, Rumsfeld proceeded to just Irish whip the heck out of Nathan sending him into his corner to tag in the waiting Striker. Striker would face off against the tall Damon but it wouldn't matter because Striker's strength was shown as he proceeded to take the giant off his feet with a massive clothesline, tagging in Nathan Sensation to get his revenge finally for the beat down the week earlier, Sensation climbed the turnbuckle and launched himself like a missile on to the down-and-out Damon but this amazing show of aerial ability was not enough to get the win. Winzor was able to fight back to his feet, and hit a Cobra Clutch Leg sweep that allowed him the time to tag in the rapid and angry Thomas Rumsfeld who proceeded to decapitate Nathan Sensation with a huge massive running clothesline, but it only earned him the trouble of a staggering confused Sensational kick to the groin before falling back into a tag to Striker who came in and took it to the monster Rumsfeld, but even after a big body splash into the corner and climbing up to hit almost 10 punches because Thomas Rumsfeld just Powerbombed the veteran to the mat with such a force that it made it look like the ring just jumped off the ground. Seeing that Striker was in trouble after the huge move, Sensation tagged in to his partner to unleash some stiff elbows to Thomas Rumsfeld but it was to little to late, because after a Black Hole Slam it was all but over because it set Thomas Rumsfeld to hit his impressive finisher "When the Levey Breaks" (Half Nelson Pump handle Slam) for the win for his team. But the action was not over because both Striker and Rumsfeld charged each other with elbow shots that sent both men spinning but fell to their feet, so Thomas took it on himself to take Striker off his feet with a massive clothesline. Damon Winzor then tried to celebrate his win with Rumsfeld by hugging him, this didn't set right with Thomas Rumsfeld who laid him out with a huge black hole slam. During the move Michael Barry had made his way to the ring to confront Rumsfeld but no action took place thinks to Marianne Albright who was able again to talk down the two fuming beasts who were about to tear each other apart.

The next match on the card was the leader, the boss, the owner of IZW and Impact, Inc., the ever professional Johnny Z against ? of the IZW Tag team champions Tyler Bateman who "Coach" Gary Tool would not announce so it was up to Thomas Patrick to announce his name but didn't matter because everyone knows Tyler Bateman. The match started off with a chant to Johnny Z of 'put your shirt on' but he would not comply, instead he started off by taking control of the match first with a series of knee shots, punches, choking Tyler in the ropes before hitting a suplex then he turned right around into another tight choke. Johnny Z finally let off for just a bit and this allowed Tyler to hit a chin buster then pushing Johnny Z into the corner following it up with a 9 punch and head butt combo to seemingly finally turned the tide, but like in any of the basically handicap matches Johnny Z has competed in the last month he would not go down that easy. As he stumbled on his feet from the head butt he was able to claw the eyes of Tyler working him into the corner for a choke that was suffocating Tyler from the precious oxygen he needed. But Johnny would not let him catch his breath because it only earned Bateman a Back Body Drop followed by Zorthos patented Camel Clutch as tight as he could not letting go one bit, but somehow Tyler was able to maneuver himself to his feet from the clutch and proceeded to kick the gut of Johnny Z following it up with a quick roll around school boy for a 2 count. This quick little move must have pissed off Johnny Z for trying to end the match before he unloaded more damage on Tyler, Johnny Z went for the Float Over DDT but Tyler was able to counter it with a bite to the finger, yes Tyler Bateman actually bit deep into the finger of Zorthos before hitting him with his signature backdrop but this would not keep Johnny Z down long enough because after both men had made it to their feet and Zorthos was the one who capitalized by finally hitting the Float Over DDT followed up by a Brain buster but it was not over there because Johnny Z went to the 2nd rope to hit a huge Leg drop. But Johnny Z would not settle for just what he had pulled off, instead it he signaled that a Top Rope Leg drop would be all she wrote for Bateman. Climbing to the top, Zorthos was a little to slow because as quick as a hick-up Bateman bumped into the ropes to drop Johnny on his family jewels then climbing up face to face with him to unload punches on Zorthos but attempting a suplex Tyler was pushed off, Zorthos jumped off the top to take out Bateman but a jumping kick straight to the face was all that was needed to counter whatever move Zorthos was going for. Both men rolled their way to their feet to start unloading a series of punches on either men, but Tyler Bateman was the one who took the advantage hitting a clothesline bulldog to take down Zorthos followed up by a grounded senton but the match would not end in Bateman's favor, during the series of moves Tyler had taken out Johnny Z with, Bernie D had came to the ring and climbed the apron to distract the referee so he could throw a set of his bling to an awaiting Zorthos who used it to knock out Tyler Bateman to pick up the win on the ? of the tag team champions.

Even though Tyler was hurting from his match, Team Shenanigans would still pull of a little bit of Evil Shenanigans by rummaging threw Black Mamba 5's bag pulling out a stained pair of khaki shorts that looked a little nasty. What would Team Shenanigans do with these set of shorts, who knows?

The next match before intermission, would be for the IZW Heavyweight Title as the champion Michael Barry would be going against the masked man of Black Mamba 5! "Mr. Saturday Night" had not faced the black masked comedian before but it wouldn't matter because it was just a bit of wrestling know how to take the Mamba-man off his feet Black Mamba was a little bit confused to why he couldn't get off one of his favorite moves the Rock Bottom, because Barry had reversed it into an arm wringer then switching his pace to pulling down Black Mamba's shorts. This must have been the straw that broke the Mamba's back because he locked on a hammerlock that seemed to take Michael by surprise but it was just reversed into a headlock by Barry that was then reversed into another headlock into another headlock! This series of moves led into Black Mamba attempting a Stunner that was pushed off and reversed into a Saturday Night diamond cutter, Barry picked up the downed Mamba and proceed to unload some chops into corner on a exposed stomach of Mamba because Michael Barry had hooded him with his own shirt. But after a Irish whip into the corner, Black Mamba hit a Double Ax Handle from the second rope to take the champ off his feet, this was all that Black Mamba needed to Mamba-Up signaling that that Mamba mania was running wild. A big boot to the face of the champion, led to the famous Leg Drop but the ever amazing champion Michael Barry kicked out at 2, this did not set well with the now crazed masked man who picked up the champion but it was a mistake on Black Mamba 5's part because Michael Barry hit the "Saturday Night Special" (Pedigree) for the 1-2-3! To pick up the win and retain the IZW heavyweight title. But Thomas Rumsfeld who is quickly become Michael Barry's #1 Nemesis came to the ring to exact some revenge but it seemed for a time that neither man would get an advantage but Michael Barry finally threw Rumsfeld over the top rope by his hair pulling a bit with him to send the fans off excited to a tee for Intermission.

After Intermission, "Coach" Gary Tool showed the crowd that he had a soft side by announcing to the crowd that it was somebody's birthday, a fan at ringside who had just turned 10 years old, his name is Chris and that he had a present for him in a signed poster from the members of IZW. This was an awesome birthday present because the kid was just beaming with a smile, but leave it to Johnny Z to come to the ring and ruin everything. He berated Gary on celebrating this kid's birthday when a member of Impact, Inc,, the heart of Impact, Inc., "Bad" Brad Michaels was celebrating a birthday too! Coach tried to calm down his fellow Impact, Inc. members but he couldn't stop Brad Michaels from tearing up the poster given to the kid. We then were treated to a horrible rendition of Happy Birthday by Johnny Zorthos for Michaels. "Coach" Gary Tool was then left to apologize to the kid and proceeded onto the next match.

It would be the "Hebrew Hammer" Bernie Donderwitz of Impact, Inc. against ? of the tag team champions, Kenny Campbell who was wearing some gear that implied he was ready to get physical with Bernie D. Bernie D started the match off with an arm wringer but was countered with a bit of gymnastic skills that turned into a headlock that was reversed into a hammerlock but then Kenny reversed it into a flipping arm wringer that took Bernie off his feet. Bernie D was able to break the arm wringer hold by reaching the ropes but Kenny just took him over with a headlock that Bernie pushed off into a body block. A spinning wheel kick was the last move Campbell was able to get in for quite a bit, because Bernie D unloaded a Suplex Gut buster onto the ropes followed by a knee shot that sent Kenny to the outside landing hard. Bernie Donderwitz then followed the tag team champion to the outside by hitting a huge shoulder block onto Campbell into the corner following it up with a Irish Whip into the set of stairs that leads to the ring. Having Campbell in the palm of his hands, Bernie D was able to keep control of the match inside the ring by hitting a spinning neck breaker following it up with a surfboard knee stretch but somewhere deep down in Kenny's body their was a fire, a fire that led him to maneuver to his feet and lay out Bernie D with a huge Spinebuster! This brought out Tyler Bateman who was carrying the stinking shorts found in Black Mamba 5's bag earlier that night. After a battle of fists, Tyler was able to slip on the pair of stinky shorts on the top of Bernie D's head that lead Kenny Campbell applying a small package roll up for the 1-2-3! Due to the Shenanigans of Team Shenanigans!

After the match "Coach" Gary Tool showed us that he had a heart of gold by bringing out another signed poster to the birthday boy Chris to make up for the one that was torn up by "Bad" Brad Michaels. Maybe Gary Tool is turning a new face?

The Main Event for the evening would be for the IZW Impact Division championship, it would be "Bad" Brad Michaels finally going up against the man that he has been dodging and screwing over for the past few months, "The Irish Phenom" Big John O'Malley. Brad Michaels started his usual doings off first thing by scaring the kids at ringside their for the birthday boy' s birthday. A series of punches to start off the match was broken up by the referee Thomas Patrick because "Bad" Brad complained that they were closed fists, so the ref told him to open them up, it was followed up by a tie up that was broken up by the ref because O'Malley had pushed Michaels into the ropes, but while breaking up the lock Michaels slapped the taste out of John's mouth. This led to another tie up and domination by O'Malley who maneuvered Brad into the corner that was broken up by the ref once again! Big John would not settle for this as he took it to the outside busting Michaels face against a security members chair at ringside following it up by smashing his face once more into the steps. O'Malley left him there so he could get a running start and throw his weight into Michaels who was propped up by the steps. But O'Malley was a little to slow on the get go and Michaels moved out of the way resulting in Big John busting his knees against the steps hard. Brad Michaels lived up to his "Bad" moniker because he started to work over the damaged knee of Big John with whatever he could apply or strike it with, even when it seemed O'Malley had finally kicked him away to get to his feet, Michaels was on top of it hitting a chop block that took the feet away from the massive "Irish Phenom". O'Malley was brought to his knees by Michaels and this looked like a mistake on Brad's part because he received a head butt to the crotch for his troubles, this looked like it hit right on the mark but it must have just been enough to push ani already over the edge Michaels even farther. Because Michaels once again unloaded a chop block to the weakened knee to John O'Malley to lock in a Single Leg Crab. "Bad" Brad Michaels signaled for the end, as he went for a Big Piledriver on the large O'Malley but it was reversed into John O'Malley propping Michaels in position for the Emerald Isle Driver but Brad rolled into a Sunset flip but it was not enough to take over the big Irish man who went to drop his large posterior but Michaels moved out of the way. This allowed Brad Michaels to unload a dropkick to the sitting O'Malley followed up by a leg drop. The leg drop just couldn't seem to do it, as it only received a 2 count from the ref. This brought both competitors to their knees who started to release a series of punches that just were brutal, both reached their feet with their furious punches but neither could get an advantage. Referee Thomas Patrick tried to break it up but got punched in the face by Bad Brad, once again Referee Thomas Patrick tried to break it up but O'Malley punched him in the face this time, one more time Referee Thomas Patrick went to break it up this time both men knocked out the ref. This brought on a Double Disqualification by Thomas Patrick! How could he stop a match that has been weeks in the making?

IZW once again put on a show that was amazing! It seems that Damon Winzor and Nathan Sensation have a bit of trouble brewing between each other! The veteran Striker is making a crowd favorite of himself every time he steps into the Impact Arena. Thomas Rumsfeld and Michael Barry cannot wait to lay their hands on each other once and for all, could Thomas Rumsfeld strip the title from Barry who has almost been champion for a year? Where is Mitch W. Carter, and what will be done with the crusierweight title? Will Black Mamba 5 keep doing what he does? Is Impact. Inc. .vs. Team Shenanigans in some specialty match just around the corner? And when will "Bad" Brad Michaels and "The Irish Phenom" Big John O'Malley finally end their apocalyptic feud? Dear God who knows, but I know that you should not miss even one IZW show because the worth of the show is much more than how much it takes to get in: $5.00!

Tags: IZW, Impact Zone Wrestling