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Two Cents' Worth: Mike Iles...What Happened?

Posted: May 9th 2010 By: CMBurnham

Having already announced three big matches for the May show, the Maximum Wrestling Alliance were primed to excite the masses that turned out to enjoy wrestling entertainment. The night started out special as Leroy McGuirk, one of the many pioneers of wrestling in Oklahoma, was inducted into the MWA Hall of Honor. Accepting on his behalf was his daughter and former WWE ring announcer, Mike McGuirk. It was a touching ceremony until Excellence Personified and Tim Rockwell interrupted the ceremony. After degrading the legacy left by McGuirk, Max McGuirk (Leroy?s grandson) and Blake Albright came out and cleared the ring of EP and Tim Rockwell. Before the show began, Director of Operations, Mike Iles, also announced the new ring announcer, local man, ?Smokin?? Bud Guffey. Former ring announcer, Alec Bisogno, was unable to continue because of other commitments, but the MWA wishes him the best in his endeavors, and we thank him for his dedication to the company during his short time.

MWA MAX-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
?DARLING? DUSTIN HERITAGE (W/EXCELLENCE PERSONIFIED) V. DEXTER ?HARDTIMES? HARDAWAY V. ?MR. ENDURANCE? SUGAR SHANE MORBID (CHAMPION)

In one of his toughest outings, since becoming the MWA Max Division champion, ?Mr. Endurance? Sugar Shane Morbid was set to face two formidable opponents in EP member, ?Darling? Dustin Heritage, and an old nemesis of Morbid?s in Dexter ?Hardtimes? Hardaway. For those unfamiliar with the rules of a triple-threat match, the champion doesn?t even have to be pinned to lose the title, making the odds even more stacked against Morbid. During one point in the match, Hardaway gave Morbid and Heritage some ?hardtimes? when they were outside of the ring, and he done a flying-cross body off of the top rope!! Toward the end of the match, Morbid was able to nail Hardaway with a horrendous clothesline, which enabled Heritage to nail Morbid with a superkick. After the kick to Morbid, Heritage pinned the prone Hardaway to become the new MWA Max Division champion. After the match, Morbid showed some good sportsmanship by shaking the hand of Hardaway, and he let the crowd know that he was not pinned for the title. We may not have seen the last of Morbid and Heritage?s feud.

WINNER AND NEW MWA MAX-DIVISION CHAMPION: ?DARLING? DUSTIN HERITAGE

SILO SAM V. LONGHORN ASSASSIN (W/?BIG? STEVIE CABALLERO)

The May show saw the debut of, yet, another MWA star in the form of country boy, Silo Sam. His opponent would be the resident thorn-in-the-side of a lot of the MWA stars, the Longhorn Assassin. However, unlike times in the past, the Longhorn Assassin had a pretty difficult time with the enormous resident of Silo, OK. Sam was able to use his weight advantage to perform several power moves on the native of Texas. However, much to the dismay of the crowd, once the Longhorn Assassin made Silo Sam mad, the big man took his shirt off to reveal a lifetime of meat and mashed-potato consumption. After shedding the shirt, Sam really turned up the heat, and it was only a matter of time before the Longhorn Assassin was doomed. After nailing a blockbuster, which I thought I heard it referred to as ?The Chunky Dunk,? Silo Sam was able to pick up a very impressive victory in his debut.

WINNER: SILO SAM

MWA TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
FOREIGN LEGION (BORIS SAARIKOSKI & ?LUXEMBOURG BEAST? DUTCH HAGEN W/?BIG? STEVIE CABALLERO) V. OLD SCHOOL EXPRESS (?SPACE COWBOY? JASON JONES & ?BIG COUNTRY? JAKE BOULDER) (CHAMPIONS)

With the debut of Stevie Caballero?s newest duo of Boris Saarikoski and Dutch Hagen, the tag-team division became a much tougher field for the reigning champions, Old School Express. Never ones to back down from a fight, OSE accepted the challenge. To counter the presence of Caballero, OSE brought out their trainee, S.L.U.G.G., to watch their backs. The Foreign Legion done an amazing job of cutting the ring in half for Jason Jones, as the duo made quick tags and beat Jones for quite some time. Repeated attempts at taunting Jones? tag partner, Jake Boulder, also helped the Foreign Legion occupy most of the match, as this often distracted the referee, giving Hagen and Saarikoski ample time to double-team the beaten Jones. Finally, Jones was able to make a tag, and the melee ensued. After referee Jeremy Evans decided he was unable to regain any sense of control of the match, he decided to disqualify both teams. Afterward, OSE challenged the Foreign Legion to a capture-the-flag match on June 4 for the tag-team titles, in which the Foreign Legion gladly accepted.

REFEREE?S DECISION: DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION (OLD SCHOOL EXPRESS REMAIN MWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS)

MWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
?HANDSOME? JACK LEGACY (W/EXCELLENCE PERSONIFIED) V. ?HUMAN ACTION FIGURE? JEFF STARCHILD (CHAMPION)

When coming to the ring, ?Handsome? Jack Legacy was accompanied to the ring by the members of Excellence Personified. However, D.O.O., Mike Iles, came out and made EP go to the back, and he named himself the special enforcer for the match to make sure EP would not interfere. Legacy started the match slowly, as he spent a great deal of time outside of the ring. Once the action got rolling, Starchild was rocketing through his opponent with several big moves. Being the crafty veteran that he is, Legacy once again went to the outside of the ring, this time followed by Starchild. The two continued the battle into the crowd, before taking the action back into the ring. Once the two men were back in the ring, Legacy was able to gain the upper hand for a short time, before the resilient heavyweight champ started fighting back. Once Starchild gained the advantage again, Excellence Personified started making their way to the ring. Mike Iles grabbed a chair and climbed into the ring, looking as if he would do whatever it took to keep EP out of the ring. However, Iles hit Starchild with the chair instead and removed his shirt to reveal an Excellence Personified shirt underneath!!! After being hit with the chair, a flat Starchild was pinned by Legacy, bringing a short end to his reign as MWA Heavyweight champion.

WINNER AND NEW MWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: ?HANDSOME? JACK LEGACY

?TERRIFIC? TIM ROCKWELL (W/?BIG? STEVIE CABALLERO) & ?MR. SATURDAY NIGHT? MICHAEL BARRY V. ?THIRD GENERATION SUPERSTAR? MAX MCGUIRK & ?THE POSTER BOY? BLAKE ALBRIGHT

In a grudge match stemming from the April show, the main event pitted the odd pair of Rockwell and Barry against McGuirk & Albright. McGuirk and Albright were escorted to the ring by McGuirk?s mother and former WWE ring announcer, Mike McGuirk. The four men in this match wasted little time beginning the fight, as this was a match built on anger, hatred, and embarrassment, as Rockwell and Barry not only have attacked McGuirk and Albright on numerous occasions, they interrupted the Hall of Honor ceremony for Max?s grandfather, Leroy McGuirk, as mentioned above. Everyone expected the antics of ?Big? Stevie Caballero in the match, as he used his belt several times throughout the match to try and gain the advantage for the team of Barry and Rockwell. What no one expected was Mike McGuirk climbing onto the edge of the ring to offer Barry a kiss. However, once Barry went in for the smooch, Mike McGuirk slapped him across the face. This allowed her son, Max, to roll Barry up for the pin.

WINNERS: ?THIRD GENERATION SUPERSTAR? MAX MCGUIRK & ?THE POSTER BOY? BLAKE ALBRIGHT

To those reading this, I currently have no answers for the actions of Mike Iles. I?ve tried calling him several times, only to have my calls go to his voicemail and remain unreturned. I tried to get a word with him immediately after his attack on Starchild, but the only response I could get is ?Excellence Personified now rules the MWA.? Other than the capture the flag match for the tag titles, who knows what to expect when MWA is live, once again, June 4th, 2010 at the Spavinaw School Gym. See you there!!!

That?s my two-cents worth,
J.W. McGillicutty