Two-Cent's Worth: The Final Edition
Posted: Jan 1st 2009 By: CMBurnham
Well, folks, this is the final edition of Two Cents Worth...for 2008!! I'm not writing another column until 2009. Now, I'll give you a second to catch your breath because I know that the very thought of not having J-Dub write his sporadic columns is enough to make you want to self-destruct. We are about nine days away from the first MWA show of 2009, and this is what I think:
The Jet Setters ("Handsome" Jack Legacy & "Darling" Dustin Heritage) v. Canadian Red Devil & "Broken Arrow Bad Boy" Justin Lee
I wonder if the duo of Lee and CRD have a tag team name yet. The Red Arrows? The Bad Devils? Or, what about the new Can-Am Connection? No, that's copyrighted (or is it copy written) by the WWE/Titan Sports. Whatever the case may be, the Jet Setters better be prepared for what may be a loss for the current Southern States Tag Team Champions. Legacy & Heritage have a lot of momentum going into this match having beaten the Old School Express last month in Harrison, AR at the MWA's affiliate promotion, Mid-States Wrestling. Then, one week later, Heritage went to Lawton to win the IZW Impact Division title adding more gold and confidence to an already ego-driven team. Nevertheless, if the Jet Setters hope to get past Lee & CRD, they better get their egos in check and put on their game face.
J.W.'s Pick: The Jet-Setters ("Handsome" Jack Legacy & "Darling" Dustin Heritage)
"Mr. Endurance" Sugar Shane Morbid v. "Big Country" Jake Boulder
I have made it known before, I think Shane Morbid is one of the most underrated, overlooked superstars in Oklahoma. Not taking anything away from anyone in Oklahoma, but Morbid is good. However, you can't argue with the success that Jake Boulder has had in the ring. He may not be the biggest dog in the fight, but he certainly is one of the toughest. In addition to that, Morbid has to be mentally exhausted and emotionally exasperated after being left to fend for himself by his long-time cohort, Cast-Iron Cothern, against both the LONRS and the Old School Express in an impromptu title match. It may a little more than Shane can handle at the moment, giving Boulder a slight edge.
J.W.'s Pick: "Big Country" Jake Boulder
Bernard Funk v. ??? (A Surprise Opponent)
The MWA championship committee was clearly upset at Rockwell's uncle Bernie after he ruined a great triple-threat title match at last month's show and revealing himself to be the Longhorn Assassin. So, the championship committee is showing that, they too, can play tricks. They have chosen to book Bernard Funk, but they will not reveal his opponent until that match. With literally no time to prepare, Bernie may be a little overwhemled. However, he has rejoined with MWA champion "Terrific" Tim Rockwell, which also aligns him with "Big" Stevie Caballero. When Texas, Inc. works together (even in singles matches), they are very difficult, if not impossible, to defeat.
J.W.'s Pick: Bernard Funk
Cast-Iron Cothern v. "Space Cowboy" Jason Jones
Cast-Iron Cothern is another guy that is on an emotional high. As of the time of this writing, not only is he the TAP Heavyweight Champion, he went to California and won the heavywieght title for Insane Wrestling League, to become a champion in two different time zones. Jason Jones, though he is a fun-loving fan favorite, is as tough as they come. He may not be on quite the emotional high that Cothern is on since he and Boulder lost the Southern States Tag Team titles to the Jet Setters, but he has the ability to drop his opponent in a second and win any match he's in. This match is going to be hard hitting.
J.W.'s Pick: Cast-Iron Cothern
X-Cal v. El Super Colibri
The match between these two men last month was exactly what was expected...fast and high flying. Though X-Cal was able to get the victory over the wildly popular El Super Colibri, it wasn't a sure enough victory that could coerce a person into believing he could do it each and every time. This is one of those match-ups that can be described as "the first one to make a mistake will lose" like other great matchups in the past. Colibri made a mistake last time that X-Cal cashed in on. Don't look for it to happen again. I think Colibri will study the tapes and be a lot more prepared for the Arabian Sensation. Look for this to be another high-flying masterpiece.
J.W.'s Pick: El Super Colibri
MWA Heavyweight Championship Triple-Threat Bullrope Match:
Blake Albright v. Max McGuirk v. "Terrific" Tim Rockwell (w/ "Big" Stevie Caballero)
I can't think of one person, other than Tim Rockwell, that doesn't think that Rockwell will no longer be champion after the next MWA show...except for me. Yes, I said it. I don't like Tim Rockwell, probably never will, but I have to give it to him. He had a great poker face when he played his trump card, his Uncle Bernie. Blake and Max are both on a roll, but when you put Rockwell and Funk together with Big Stevie Caballero, championships are won. I don't think I have to remind anyone about their run as tag champions for three different federations at once. Also, Caballero has been manager of the year how many times? Add that to the fact that Rockwell and Funk were the #1 and #2 ranked wrestlers, respectively, for 2007. I'm sorry, but I have to quote Caballero..."you wanna be a winner, you bet on a winner." Well, I think three of a kind can beat a couple of Aces any day of the week.
J.W.'s Pick: "Terrific" Tim Rockwell
There you have it. Those are my picks, my two cents worth, my idea of who may or may not win the matches. Now, the thing you have all been waiting for...my top ten. Well, I don't think I'm going to do one. Big Mike and C. M. Burnham have already covered those bases, so I will let them be. Plus, I prove Burnham wrong every month...I don't want to discredit both he and Mike in one month with the only top ten list that would matter. But, I would like to give a few year-end awards:
Manager of the Year: Akdar Siddikki (manager of the convenience store near our trailer park. He keeps the Pabst well stocked).
Redneck of the Year: "Space Cowboy" Jason Jones (you can't be more Redneck than a guy that wears a rebel flag singlet).
Referee of the Year: Clint Starks (he got squashed by Cast-Iron Cothern...and lived to ref another day. I better give him the award while he's still breathing).
Match of the Year: C. M. Burnham's face and the rear-end of a sasquatch. Just kidding, though they are both awfully hairy. I have to give it to X-Cal v. El Super Colibri.
Wrestler of the Year: "Mr. Endurance" Sugar Shane Morbid (I'm giving credit where it's long overdue).
Take care, have a great, fun, and safe New Year's Eve! That's my two cents worth. Hope to see ya at the rasslin match.
J.W. McGillicutty
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