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Missy's Manor: Wrestle Rescue Edition

Posted: Sep 16th 2008 By: CMBurnham

I participated for the Wrestle Rescue fundraising event on September, 14. Dawn Marie & Michelle Mupo kicked butt as organizers to their first fund raising event for Dawn's sister in law & for wrestlers in need. The event ran smoothly for the fans, wrestlers, & vendors. This is even despite the hotel being evacuated for a hour for a fire sprinkler going off. Naturally I suspect that some wrestler caused the sprinker to go off. I'm sorry, but I been around wrestlers for way too long. I was glad to participate at the event. I love meeting wrestling fans and hanging out with some of the wrestlers.

I happened to share my table with my long time celebrity friend in Scotty Schwartz. You people might remember Scotty in the movie 'The Toy' or 'A Christmas Carole' [that movie is aired to the point of nausea on Christmas day], or even 'Scotty's X-Rated Adventure' [I own a autographed copy of that classic]. I best remember Scotty as my bagel chip buying stooge from back in my California days. That's right, Missy sends celebrities to buy her bagel chips. Scotty was a blast to hang out with. I covered his table, while he ran around like a kid getting his wrestling figures signed.

Larry Storch from 'F Troop' and 'The Larry Storch School Of Acting' [remember that Married With Children episode?] stopped by at my table. He told me how he used to go out with 1950's woman wrestling champion Mildred Burke. I wasn't too impressed, since Penny Banner went out with Elvis.

I ran in to so many old wrestling friends that I have not seen in years. I saw Little Jeannie. She used to drag my ass to Johnny Rodz wrestling school to teach me how to wrestle. Eventually she gave up on teaching me how to bump, since I patterned "The Missy Special". "The Missy Special" is a 5 minute match that I take one bump and pout in the ring for the other four minutes. Luckily Jeannie kept those matches together in the ring for me. Jeannie left the wrestling business some time back. She spent some time in the military and is now a proud mommy to the cutest baby ever. Jeannie Rules!

Balls Mahoney reminded me of out tag team name. He always jokes that we should have formed a wrestling tag team named "Balls & T*ts". Hey, if it can get me a wrestling figure, than why the hell not. Too bad the name is not as cool as his tag team with Blue Meanie. They got the greatest name ever of "Blue Balls". That tag team name is a licensing bonanza waiting to happen.

Torri Wilson was there with her two maltese dogs. I got jealous that I left my two Jack Russells at home [collectively known as "Moondog Jake" & "Moondog Puppy Love"]. I even bitched openly about it to the fans. One fan remembered that I took the "Moondogs" to a autograph show in Ohio. The fan referred to my dogs as a bunch of animals. That sounds like fighting words. Nobody talks smack about my kids. I was going to tell Torri how my dog was in wrestling before her dog. My wiener dog and I worked for Dory Funk. Marti Funk even has a open invitation for myself and my "Moondogs" that we can work on any of their shows at any time. I bet Torri can't boast that any of her dogs worked against Dory Funk.

The highlight of the convention was stirring Iron Sheik up. I remember years ago that Chris Candido dropped Iron Sheik in front of my old apartment as a rib. I had to hear a crazy Sheik screaming on my intercom to be buzzed in and too see if I have "medicine". Needless to say that I declined buzzing Sheik in to my apartment. Great rib by Chris! Ughhh!

I told Sheik how I don't like to see him getting exploited. Sheik blows up and starts cursing and screaming at his stooge. Sheik said "Hitler should have killed him" and had other witty Sheik comments. I can honestly say that Iron Sheik's medicine is preserving him and he will probably outlive everybody in the wrestling business. The scary part will be historians using Iron Sheik to piece together the history of the wrestling biz in a hundred years. The biz will be written up as Iron Sheik f*cked everybody and made them humble. Everybody smoked his weed and didn't pay him for it. Blah, blah, blah! Sheik rules and he's a fan of mine. I had Iron Sheik sign a wrestling figure for me. That figure now goes in to my wrestling figure collection that consists of Terry Funk, Rock, Hollywood Blondes, John Cena, & Torri Wilson [I was trying to morph my Torri figure in to a Missy figure for the longest time].

I was impressed at Dawn Marie being dressed down throughout the day and converted back in to a Diva at night for the dinner [I saw the pics on the net]. Dawn rules!

Mick Foley stopped by and gave me a hug. Foley is the most down to earth wrestler ever! I'm glad he made it big in the biz. I was touched when Jimmy Snuka gave Foley one of his head bands, since Foley was a big Snuka fan growing up.

I'm glad that Dawn subscribed to Missy's booking logic. Missy's Booking Logic #123 is that disabled Zombie's draw sympathy & donations. The Zombie was hobbling around on crutches throughout the event, since he's still revovering from a torn meniscus.

I would like to thank all of the fans, wrestlers, Michelle, Dawn, and everybody for making this event a very enjoyable day for myself and everybody else.

Tags: Missy Hyatt, Mick Foley