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Missy's Manor: Brock Lesnar-Heath Herring UFC Preview...Missy Style

Posted: Aug 8th 2008 By: CMBurnham

On Saturday August 9, Brock Lesnar will be embarking on a career crossroad. He desperately needs a win over Heath Herring to retain his lucrative UFC contract and maintain a MMA career. I'm no MMA expert, but I know sports psychology [not really]. I am providing my analysis on why Brock will win on Saturday night. Keep in mind that Missy's MMA Predictions are subject to a 89.9% margin of error, so don't gamble all of your WWE stock on my prediction.

The Rena Mero Factor: No athlete can tolerate the non stop demands from a high matenance wife. Rena doesn't come cheap. She presumably left Mark Mero when his wrestling career ended. Rena has threatened Luna Vachon's job status. This was based on if Rena got hurt in their matches. I would never mess with Luna, but this shows how much testicular fortitude that Rena got. Rena even showed up in the crowd on WCW Nitro in '99, despite being under contract by WWE. The bottom line is if Rena doesn't get what she wants, she will make your life a living hell. Brock needs to channel all of Rena's nagging in to a major rage in the octagon.

Baby Mama Drama Factor: Brock has a child from a previous relationship. Child support is usually around 17.5%. Brock's six digit UFC contract can presumably get the baby's mama and the courts off his back if this is a problem. Just ask Ricky Morton, Jamie Dundee, and Lex Luger about how miserable life can be by not paying child support. Jail time sucks for everybody. Noboby wants to be "The Next Big Thing" in jail. Brock is not just fighting to keep his sanity from Rena, but he's also fighting to satisfy his baby's mama. 17.5% of a big UFC purse can satisfy any baby's mama. At least until next month.

WWE Job Prospects: Brock wants the same luxuries that the Undertaker has in WWE. Too bad Undertaker's 18 year seniority will always beat Brock's 2 year WWE career. Brock must realize that if he's a UFC washout, than his future might be non stop wrestling bumps and traveling. Welcome back to the biz! We been expecting you. I hope you got no problem jobbing to Colin Delaney to prove that you are a team player?

Missy's Fight Prediction: Brock will be escorted to the octagon by Rena. Rena will be yelling at Brock that she wants a bigger house and more jewelry. Brock will erupt in to a "Festus-Like Rage" when the bell rings. He will go the distance with Heath Herring. After the bell rings, Brock will return to the "Festus-Like Simpleton" look.

Instead of Rena congratulating Brock on the win, she will start brow beating him for not knocking Heath out for the 'Best KO Bonus' and not getting 'Best Fight Of The Night Bonus'. Rena will spend the night annoying Dana White with ridiculous contract demands for Brock. Dana will beg for the days that he dealt with Jenna Jameson instead of Rena.

Tags: Missy Hyatt, Ricky Morton, WWE