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Missy Hyatt's Thoughts On A Masked Missy Hyatt Character In CHIKARA, Indy DVDs, Paul Heyman & Chuck Taylor

Posted: Jun 5th 2008 By: CMBurnham

I'm sorry for not submitting articles on a regular basis. I been spending most of my time in the Hampton's. What would you expect from a socialite? Unfortunately I have not been hanging out with the bimbo summit [Brittney, Lindsey, and Paris]. Instead I been hanging out with my "Moondog Jack Russells'. I feel so lonely at the beach house. Luckily I got a chance to catch up on my wrestling viewing at the beach house.

Many people have been too critical about Vince's million dollar give away. I registered on www.wwe for my opportunity to win a million. I even wrote "Missy's Million Dollar Manifesto" on how I'm willing to spend my million.

1. I'm paying Jakks to produce 500 limited edition Missy Hyatt Legends Figures. I will than sell them on ebay.
2. I'm buying my own indy promotion to brutalize ticket sellers, stooges, and hanger ons. I will also make myself the champion. The era of Missy will happen.
3. I will have Chikara create a masked Missy Hyatt character
4. I'm going to pay WWE for the right to induct Terry Funk in the WWE Hall Of Fame and manage him at Wrestle Mania.
5. I'm going to pay TNA to allow me to steal Black Machismo from So Cal Val at their wedding.

I worked on NYWC last Saturday night. This group has developed some of the best home grown wrestlers in the NY area. The wrestlers have matches that make sense. I applaud their wrestling school for showing the wrestlers how to incorporate psychology and create decent matches. I managed Alex Renyolds. Apparently I was getting too much heat by a 8 year old. This fan was cursing me, waving dollars at me, and even pulled my hair. This fan would have gotten his ass beaten back in the day. I did something even worst in retaliation. I stooged the 8 year olds behavior off to his parents. Nothing like a kid being disciplined by his parents. Especially when a heel is the one who stooged.

I realized I worked in the Deer Park Community Center for ECW, USA Pro Wrestling, and NYWC. Can we declare the building as "The House That Missy Built"? Can I at least get a plaque commemorating myself for performing in this building over the last 14 years? Screw it! I'll just buy the building with my RAW million and rename it "The Missy Hyatt Community Center" or "The Hyatt-Riot Arena".

I had a blast on being on the Heyman Hustle last week. I have known Paul for over twenty years. I'm glad he stopped devoting every minute in his life on wrestling to be a family man. I always found Paul to be a enigma. I remember he stayed with Eddie Gilbert and myself in Alabama briefly. I was so fascinated on wanting to know about Paul, so I went thru his belongings [I'm sorry Paul].

I expected to possibly find severed hooker parts, rancid porn, a inflatable doll with my face on it [what a merchandising bonanza that could be]. Instead I found nothing but dirty laundry and baseball cards all over the place. Ughh! I guess I will never really know Paul. I never realized how much work Paul puts in to the 'Heyman Hustle'. We taped 4 hours worth of content. That content was than edited to 4 minutes. At least we still have our television chemistry from the WCW days.

I got a chance to catch up on wrestling DVD's at the beach. I enjoyed 'The Best Of Chikara 2007' big time. I think many of the big sites are missing out big time on their lack of coverage on Chikara. How can you not like a group that incorporates whacky masked wrestlers [Los Ice Cream, Colony, Retail Dragon, etc]. I enjoyed the Los Ice Cream [goofy guys in ice cream masks] against the Olson's [not the anorexic girls from Full House]. The match revolved around Colin Olson being lactose intolerant and being scared of Los Ice Cream [makes sense]. Eventually Colin gets a scoop of Ice Cream that incapacitates him and he sells it. I can't help if I find this entertaining. I also enjoyed the Colony [Worker Ant. Fire Ant, and Soldier Ant] VS. Los Deliriosos [Delirous and his offspring].

I even got a giggle out of Chuck Taylor's imaginary hand grenade. I enjoyed Cheech and Cloudy [he looks to be 5'4"] VS. Olson Twins. The match had highspots and psychology that makes sense. I enjoyed Claudio Castagnoli VS. Pac. Claudio used his size to play a powerful and technical heel. He allowed Pac to have flurries of high spots to get over. This match ruled. They even had clips of Lince Dorado VS. Mitch Ryder feud. Dorado hit a top rope move that he banged his head pretty badly. He even had a seizure. It looked scary as hell. The group also got great wrestlers in Chris Hero, Lince Dorado, Quackenbush, Pac, and Ruckus. Chris Hero got the psychology, ring work, and charisma to be a asset in any big promotion. He just needs some new ring gear. I highly reccomend this DVD.

I even got a chance to watch 'Best Of CZW 2007'. I can take hardcore wrestling in small dosages. I actually respect some of the wrestlers who perform that style. I can't imagine travelling long distances to know that my trip doesn't end after taking unprotected chair shots, light bulb shots, barbed wire, and tons of bleeding. I seen Necro Butcher, Drake Younger, Danny Havoc, and others perform in entertaining matches that consisted of less blood and guts. Once you keep bleeding on every show, the fans expect you to up the carnage. I hope these workers realize that they have actual wrestling skill that can get them over. I enjoy BLKOUT. They are such a great heel faction. Ruckus and Sabian rule [B & B's favorite wrestler]. They can get heat and work their asses off. The DVD got something for everybody. Blood and guts, technical wrestling, and high flying. I reccomend the DVD if you like Ultra Violent Wrestling.

I been watching TNA on a semi regular basis. I really enjoy their Knock Out division. I enjoy how every worker got their own distinctive personality over that allows them to stand out. There is nothing like talentless women who can't do promos or work in the ring. I applaud any woman performer who respects the biz to learn their craft and perform it on a top level. Here is my quick synopsis on who I find to really enjoyable:

Angelina Love: My favorite out of all the Knock Out's [just don't tell Awesome Kong]. She is such a great heel. I enjoy how she is doing the heel shtick who is trying to cut her opponents hair. She got shades of Gino Hernandez in this role. I enjoy her interviews. Her line about being 95 pounds for photo shoots cracked me up. Her wrestling skills are decent. I can't wait to see Angelina live on 6/21 for WSU.

Velvet Sky: I enjoyed her in the past as Talia Madison. The girl will make somebody some $$$ in the immediate future. Her combination with Angelina Love is awesome. Her heel persona is starting to get her notice. Her ring work needs a little bit of improvement. I see a eventual baby face turn for Velvet. Her baby face turn will be $$$ down the line.

Gail Kim: Gail is equivelant to Trish Stratus was to WWE years ago [Trish is my favorite WWE diva of the modern era]. Gail got beauty and can go out and bust her ass to have one of the best matches on any show. She is the perfect baby face on the way she sells and can make her opponents look great. Gail is the best Knock Out ring wise.

Awesome Kong: I consider her the Vader of women wrestlers. The way she brutalizes the women on the fan out the stand gimmick makes me cringe. I saw Kong live in March and Kong brings a intensity that most male wrestlers would die to have.

ODB: I like ODB. The crowd loves her antics. Her wrestling is decent. Her promos need a little work. I cracked up when she had the interviewer grab her breasts on TV. ODB is different. I mean that in a positive way. The fans believe that she can be a contender and a champion. You know you're over when the fans recognize your talent before the office. Luckily TNA capitalized on the crowd making ODB a star.

Tags: Missy Hyatt, WWE, TNA, Eddie Gilbert, Vader