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Missy's Thoughts On Her WrestleMania Addiction

Missy's Thoughts On Her WrestleMania Addiction

Posted: Mar 28th 2008 By: CMBurnham

Wrestle Mania is coming up Sunday. Unfortunantly I never worked on a WrestleMania. Technically I was at Wrestle Mania in 1991 [I worked in WCW at the time]. Jason Hervey and I actually bought tickets and attended the show. Coliseum Video even interviewed me. I ate a WWF ice cream bar and I acted like a total mark [sign of me being a life long wrestling fan]. Once they realized who I was, my interview fell on the editing floor. Thank God! That would've been the dumbest breach of contract on my part. I came close in getting booked in 1994. I was
suppose to hang out with the Bill Clinton imposter. Too bad when WWF heard I was in a legal war with WCW, they backed off on me completely.

I have spent many years dealing with my WrestleMania mental anguish in therapy. My therapist tries to convince me that Starrcade is just as good as Wrestle Mania. I had to tell my shrink that she obviously never lived through Lethal Lotteries, Eric Bischoff's incompetant wrap arounds, Shock Masters, Black Scorpions, and El Gigante. Why wonder I have to see a shrink.

I'm listing the many Wrestle Mania angles and scenarios I wish I could've done.

I always wanted to be 'Moondog Missy' for WrestleMania 2. I could've came in with nappy blonde hair and stone wash jeans. I would have managed George Steele and been his love interest. I even could have been 'Missy Funk'. I'm closer to being a Funk than Jimmy Jack Funk.
At least Marti Funk is my friend and helped get me in the biz. Too bad I couldn't get the role, since I'm a total Terry mark [he's my favorite wrestler ever].

I would have loved to have been Doink's double in Wrestle Mania 8. I wear just as much make up as Doink the Clown, so the role would have been easy for me. I also had no problem fighting Dink in a shoot fight at WrestleMania.

I would have loved to been 'Missy The Gobbledy Gooker' for the gimmick battle royal. The Gobbledy Gooker is one of the greatest gimmicks ever. I could even steal the gimmick and use it on the indy scene. If a zombie that was on ECW for 1 minute can do it, than I can do it.

I wish I could have been 'Missy McMahon' when Vince fought Shane. I could have been Vince's wife, since he could have been a bigamist. I could have turned on Vince and went with Shane [since I wanted a piece of Shane's future inheritance and collect alimony from Vince].
I could have been impregnated by Vince or Shane. 17.5% in child support from somebody who makes millions. I would do it for the biz and the $$$. Than I could be renamed 'Missy Millions'. The offer is still open.

Unfortunately I couldn't even get booked for this Sunday's battle royal for a shot at the ECW title. This is due to Big Daddy V's breasts being bigger than my 34 double d's. This is how I'm
rationalizing losing my spot this year. Never at the right place, right time.

Hopefully WWE will offer me a spot inducting Eric Bischoff in the hall of fame. I can work in my speech how he helped put WCW out of business and helped Vince win the wrestling war. I can bring up all the law suits he cost WCW. I can bring up how he spent millions on Master P, Kiss, Dennis Rodman, and helped run WCW in the ground. I'm also willing to fight Eric in a weapons death match at a WrestleMania.

I'm boycotting Wrestle Mania, since I never worked on one. Take that Vince. Now Mayweather won't get my $54.95 towards his 20 million. I will be spending my Sunday writing blogs on why
WWE should be boycotted, unless they finally make a Missy Hyatt legends figure as a consolation.

 

Tags: Missy Hyatt, Black Scorpion, Jimmy Jack Funk, Doink the Clown, WWF, WCW, ECW

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Spotlight in History

  • 1983 Magnum T. A. & Jim Duggan def. Ted DiBiase & Mr. Olympia for the MSW Mid-South Tag Team Titles
  • 2005 Brandon Groom & American Anarchy became the NWA-U Oklahoma Tag Team Champions
  • 2010 The Hardcore Connection (Maniac Mike & Shane Sanchez) def. X-Rated (Bobby Star & Kevin James Sanchez) for the SWCW Tag Team Titles
  • 2010 Kareem Sadat became the SWCW Hardcore Champion
  • 2010 Brandon Walker def. Jonathan Cross for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 2010 Jonathan Cross def. Brandon Walker for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 2019 Antonio Vega def. Shawn Sanders for the ASP Inter-County Title
  • 2020 Derek James def. Alex Royal for the BPW Oklahoma Title
  • 2020 Size Matters (Sam Stackhouse & Mike Starr) def. Legend Has It (Thrash & Killbane) for the BPW Oklahoma Tag Team Titles
  • 2020 Ethan Cole def. Tommy Dean for the BPW Lion Heart Title
  • 2022 Sam Stackhouse became the WCR Heavyweight Champion

Week of Sun 07-19 to Sat: 07-25

  • 07-19 1968 Fritz Von Erich & Grizzly Smith def. The Spoiler & Gary Hart for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
  • 07-19 1968 Jack Dalton [1st] & Jim Dalton became the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Champions
  • 07-19 1971 Thunderbolt Patterson & Toru Tanaka def. Johnny Valentine & Wahoo McDaniel for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
  • 07-19 1982 Bill Irwin def. Brian Adias for the WCCW Television Title
  • 07-19 2008 Dane Griffin def. Les Mayne for the 3DW Texoma Title
  • 07-19 2013 Big Daddy Moore became the BPPW Heavyweight Champion
  • 07-19 2019 Shawn Sanders became the ASP Inter-County Champion
  • 07-19 2019 Xavior def. Paul Puertorico for the MSWA Mid-South Heavyweight Title
  • 07-19 2019 Team Boner (Drake Gallows & Mascara La Parka) became the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Champions
  • 07-19 2024 Father Padge became the MajCW Heavyweight Champion
  • 07-19 2024 Brandon Warhawk became the MajCW Flawless Champion
  • 07-19 2024 Hell's Kitchen (The Canadian Red Devil & The Lunchador) became the MajCW Tag Team Champions
  • 07-19 2024 Lunchador became the MajCW 24/7 On Call Champion
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  • 07-19 2024 Cardinal Sin def. Lunchador for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
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  • 07-19 2024 Deacon Hendrix def. Cardinal Sin for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
  • 07-19 2024 Tyler Shade def. Deacon Hendrix for the MajCW 24/7 On Call Title
  • 07-20 1961 Waldo Von Erich def. Tony Martin for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-20 1979 Gino Hernandez & El Gran Markus def. Jose Lothario & El Halcon for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
  • 07-20 1986 Eddie Gilbert & Sting def. The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers & Bobby Fulton) for the UWF Tag Team Titles
  • 07-20 2008 The Forsaken (Michael Faith & Halo) def. Limited Edition (Les Mayne & Dane Griffin) for the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Titles
  • 07-20 2013 Drake Gallows became the IZW Impact Division Champion
  • 07-20 2013 Kareem Sadat became the SWCW Hardcore Champion
  • 07-20 2014 The K. C. Wolves (Graham Bell & Luke Langley) became the WFC Tag Team Champions
  • 07-20 2018 Double D def. Colby Black for the MSWA eXpress Title
  • 07-20 2026 Vincent Cross def. Bang Bang Bennett for the RDW Na'Cho Momma's Hardcore Title
  • 07-21 1947 Buddy Rogers def. Dale Levin for the NWA Midwest World Title
  • 07-21 1979 Bill Watts & Buck Robley def. The Assassin & The Angel [1st] for the TSW United States Tag Team Titles
  • 07-21 2012 The Mercenary became the UWE United States Champion
  • 07-21 2012 L. J. McDaniels became the SWCW Womens Champion
  • 07-21 2012 Sam Stackhouse def. Jake O'Brien for the SRPW Heavyweight Title
  • 07-21 2012 Angel Blue def. Venus for the IZW Queens Title
  • 07-21 2018 Drake Gallows def. Alex Royal for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 07-21 2018 Alex Royal def. Drake Gallows for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 07-22 1959 Danny McShain def. The Zebra Kid for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-22 1960 Danny Hodge def. Angelo Savoldi for the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Title
  • 07-22 1979 Mark Lewin def. Bruiser Brody for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-22 1981 Bob Roop def. Super Destroyer for the MSW Louisiana Title
  • 07-22 1985 Butch Reed def. Dutch Mantell for the MSW Television Title
  • 07-22 2012 Cody Jones def. Les Mayne for the MSWA Oklahoma Title
  • 07-22 2016 Nathan Estrada def. Adrian Dell for the ComPro Oklahoma X Division Title
  • 07-22 2016 Steven Cruze def. Seth Angel for the ComPro Showtime Title
  • 07-22 2017 Future Hall of Famers/Impact, Inc. (Johnny Z & Damien Morte & Jermaine Johnson) became the IZW Tag Team Champions
  • 07-22 2017 Ryan Davidson def. Aaron Anders for the ComPro Oklahoma X Division Title
  • 07-22 2017 Aaron Anders def. Brian Breaker for the ComPro Heavyweight Title
  • 07-22 2017 Wesley Crane def. Skyler Fayden for the UWE United States Title
  • 07-22 2023 Tyler Midas def. The Lunchador for the WAH Hunger Dojo Title
  • 07-23 1967 Karl Kox def. Waldo Von Erich for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-23 1979 Kerry Von Erich & Bruiser Brody became the WCCW Texas Tag Team Champions
  • 07-23 2004 Rocco Valentino def. Justin Lee for the TPW Oklahoma Heavyweight Title
  • 07-23 2005 Tyler Bateman def. John O'Malley for the MSWA Tri-State Title
  • 07-23 2011 John E. Stone def. Kevin James Sanchez for the SWCW Heavyweight Title
  • 07-23 2011 Double D def. Michael Barry for the IZW Impact Division Title
  • 07-23 2011 Teila & El Hoto Loco def. Chris Von Luhr & Jason Noal for the ACW Tag Team Titles
  • 07-23 2011 Chris Von Luhr & Jason Noal def. Teila & El Hoto Loco for the ACW Tag Team Titles
  • 07-23 2021 Ky-Ote def. Dane Griffin for the TexPro Oklahoma Title
  • 07-23 2026 MLP def. Vincent Cross for the RDW Na'Cho Momma's Hardcore Title
  • 07-23 2026 Bang Bang Bennett def. MLP for the RDW Na'Cho Momma's Hardcore Title
  • 07-23 2026 Vincent Cross def. Bang Bang Bennett for the RDW Na'Cho Momma's Hardcore Title
  • 07-24 1983 Magnum T. A. & Jim Duggan def. Ted DiBiase & Mr. Olympia for the MSW Mid-South Tag Team Titles
  • 07-24 2005 Brandon Groom & American Anarchy became the NWA-U Oklahoma Tag Team Champions
  • 07-24 2010 The Hardcore Connection (Maniac Mike & Shane Sanchez) def. X-Rated (Bobby Star & Kevin James Sanchez) for the SWCW Tag Team Titles
  • 07-24 2010 Kareem Sadat became the SWCW Hardcore Champion
  • 07-24 2010 Brandon Walker def. Jonathan Cross for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 07-24 2010 Jonathan Cross def. Brandon Walker for the UWE Heavyweight Title
  • 07-24 2019 Antonio Vega def. Shawn Sanders for the ASP Inter-County Title
  • 07-24 2020 Derek James def. Alex Royal for the BPW Oklahoma Title
  • 07-24 2020 Size Matters (Sam Stackhouse & Mike Starr) def. Legend Has It (Thrash & Killbane) for the BPW Oklahoma Tag Team Titles
  • 07-24 2020 Ethan Cole def. Tommy Dean for the BPW Lion Heart Title
  • 07-24 2022 Sam Stackhouse became the WCR Heavyweight Champion
  • 07-25 1957 Duke Keomuka def. Bull Curry for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-25 1962 Hiro Matsuda & Don Kent def. Alberto Torres & Ramon Torres for the TSW United States Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 1966 Tony Borne def. Louie Tillet for the WCCW Texas Brass Knuckles Title
  • 07-25 1977 Captain USA def. Bruiser Brody for the WCCW American Heavyweight Title
  • 07-25 1980 Ken Mantell became the MSW Louisiana Champion
  • 07-25 1981 Eddie Gilbert & Ricky Morton def. Ed Wiskowski & Mike George for the TSW Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 1983 Jimmy Garvin def. Kevin Von Erich for the WCCW American Heavyweight Title
  • 07-25 1988 The Simpson Brothers (Steve Simpson & Shaun Simpson) def. John Tatum & Jack Victory for the WCCW Texas Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 2009 Team SuperBad (El Super Colibri & Justin Lee) def. Crazy Beautiful (Brett Taylor & Michael York) for the ComPro Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 2015 La Famiglia (Luke Grayson & Thomas Knight) def. Seth Angel & Adrian Dell for the ComPro Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 2020 Real Dirty Brawlers (Brawler Morrison & Thrash) def. Tommy Dean for the WFC Tag Team Titles
  • 07-25 2020 Jon Cross def. Luke Langley for the WFC Hometown Heroes Title
  • 07-25 2020 Tim Rockwell def. Jon Cross for the WFC Hometown Heroes Title
  • 07-25 2021 Thrash def. Luke Savage for the ASP Mid-American Title
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