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Prime-Time Roundup

Posted: Aug 22nd 2007 By: CMBurnham

8-13 WWE RAW

While Vince McMahon and Johnathon Coachman were debating the age that Vince became sexually active, Ric Flair walked up behind Vince and delivered 3 "Whoo!"s.

Todd Grisham introduced WWE Idol. William Regal, Maria & Mick Foley were the judges. Regal didn't think it was possible for someone to get more womanly, but Grisham had achieved that. He promised to fire Grisham if he said, "Grisham out!". Maria said Todd's pitch was good but his melody was off. Todd said he wasn't singing. Foley said it was good to be back in New York City and this proved he would do anything for money. Jillian Hall came out 1st. She sang a version of "The Way We Were". Foley said for the 1st time, he was glad he'd had his right ear ripped off. Maria tried to find a word for his singing, then said that she looked pretty. Regal said he should change the main event to Roe vs. Wade because that performance was an abortion. Howard Finkel arrived and brought out the Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. Volkoff sang the Russian National anthem. Finkel said everyone should stand and Maria did. Foley said he was impressed that Volkoff wasn't thrown when the crowd chanted "USA!". Maria wished she could understand what he was saying. Regal said it was bloody awful and wished he had lost his voice like the Iron Sheik lost the WWF World Title in this building. Sheik went ballistic (and unintelligible) and Regal called for security to remove him. The last contestant was Lillian Garcia. She sang "New York, New York.", but only got 1 verse in before Santino Marella interrupted. He said she was dressed in such a way that 42nd Street was missing one of its prostitutes. He started singing "That's Amore", then told Marian to come with him. Maria said she was still judging. Ron Simmons came out. Santino asked what he was going to do. Would he start rhyming? He then called Simmons the Cookie Monster and pushed him out of the way. Simmons grabbed Santino and threw him into the entrance knocking him out. He then took the microphone and said, "Damn!", which caused Regal to declare him the winner.

Cody Rhodes def. Charlie Haas (w/ Shelton Benjamin)

Queen Sharmell welcomed everyone to the coronation for King Booker. Booker thanked everyone and said there's never been a king as magnificent as him in the history of kings. He defeated "Jerome" Lawler, who called himself king for 30 years and proved himself the 1 true king. He demanded that Jerry Lawler humble himself and place the crown on his head. Lawler hesitated, then backed off. Booker asked what Lawler's problem was, then demanded Lawler put the crown on his head. Lawler said Booker wasn't the only king in the WWE. He said he just got a note from William Regal saying Booker will face Triple H at Summerslam PPV. Lawler stomped on the crown. There was a brief fight between Booker and Lawler and then Booker hit Lawler with a TV monitor, severely injuring him.

8-16 TNA iMPACT

Jim Cornette, Matt Morgan & Leticia Cline were in Cornette's office. Cornette called Ron Killings and Adam Jones "2 more cashews in this big bowl of nuts." Triple X barged in. Christopher Daniels asked why he was having to face Jay Lethal to become #1 contender to the TNA World X Division Title when he was already #1 contender. Cornette said he WAS #1 contender, but then he got pinned. Daniels said that was in a tag team match. Cornette said it didn't matter. Now they'll do things the hard way. Triple X exited and Cornette thought he could relax for a moment, but Christian Cage, A. J. Styles & Tomko barged in. Cage said he was done fighting in First Blood matches. He wanted to move on to better things. Cornette said he would erase Cage's TNA World Title shot, then. Cage started to stammer. Cornette said that Abyss put up his TNA World Title shot to get his hands on Cage in a First Blood Match. Cage said he'd go ahead so he could once again be World Champion. Cornette said he better make Abyss bleed before Abyss made him bleed.

Adam Jones & Ron Killings came to Jim Cornette's office. Killings began to try and sell Cornette on a tag team of them and that they could become TNA World Tag Team Champions. Killings said that ratings drive the business. Cornette said victories are also important. Killings said Cornette needs to make it happen. Cornette asked what happened if he doesn't? Do they do to him what they did to Eric Young? Killings said Young disrespected them in the workplace. He then said that Cornette could do this easy or hard. Cornette motioned Matt Morgan in between them, which upset Adam Jones. Killings asked if they couldn't all just get along. Cornette told Morgan to show them the parking lot. Killings said they'd leave, but Cornette better think long and hard.

Jim Cornette interrupted the Angle Awards, then announced that Kurt Angle would defend all 3 of his titles as the No Surrender PPV. Jay Lethal would challenge for the TNA World X Division Title. Kurt Angle would face the winner of the Christian Cage/Abyss First Blood Match for the TNA World Title. And then Cornette told Angle that he better find a partner because he woudl defend the TNA World Tag Team Titles against Ron Killings & Adam Jones. Angle went ballistic and physically threatened Cornette, but Matt Morgan stepped up and shoved Angle down. Karen Angle then slapped Morgan and a pull-apart occurred.

A. J. Styles came down during the Abyss/Christian Cage First Blood Match. He gave Cage a barbed wire baseball bat. Samoa Joe then ran down and chased off A. J. He also took the baseball bat from Cage and hit him with a chair, then tossed the chair to Abyss. Abyss won the match, but was attacked by Kurt Angle. Jim Cornette appeared on the monitor and said that next week, Angle would face the Steiner Brothers in a Handicap Match. And if they won, they'd get 5 minutes with Karen Angle.