• Look Back In History
• Pmessages
• Quiz
• Stump The Staff
• Top Fifty
• Close

The Impact Report

Posted: Jul 29th 2007 By: CMBurnham

IZW began its newest era at their new building, the Impact Arena. And, despite the humid conditions, the real heat was inside the ring as they put on a great card with 5 matches that included 4 title defences. They also introduced 2 new stars to the IZW roster and one long-time IZW member may finally be able to make his dream come true, thanks to his victory this night.

IZW Champion Michael Barry was the first superstar to grace the ring at the behest of ring announcer Steve O. Barry said no party happened without him. He mentioned he had been IZW Champion for 10 months now and he thanked the fans for their support during his reign. He said he is the most dominant champion in the state and he will put his title up against anyone, as there is no greater company or competition than IZW. Ryan Davidson answers Barry's unofficial challenge. Davidson announced he had just gotten back from Texas and seemed very happy to have been home recently. He asked Barry how he can thank the fans when they look the way they do. He said that he'd been in Oklahoma longer than Barry had been wrestling, he'd held more titles than Barry and he was sure that Oklahoma was full of nothing by losers. He said Barry had nice gear, but gear doesn't make you a champ. He challenged Barry for the IZW Title and Barry accepted. Davidson then upped the ante a little by saying he wanted the match right then. Referee Jeff Patrick was brought to the ring and the IZW Title was on the line. This match was hotly contested, with several 2-counts by both combatants, but after about 15 minutes of action, Barry delivered the Saturday Night Special and won the match.

A backstage vignette was shown on the Zorthotron 420. The Cabinet announced their presence and Mitch W. Carter took the time to introduce himself, Thomas Rumsfeld & Marianne Albright. Carter announced he intended to run for office in 2020 and said he would raise health care, lower taxes and strengthen the border around the country. He claimed to have had something to do with the prolonged absence of Matt Garza, which resulted in Garza being stripped of the IZW Cruiserweight TItle, a title Garza won from Carter. Carter said he wanted that title back, but he wasn't set to wrestle this night. He said Thomas Rumsfeld would be representing the Cabinet in the next match.

The Cabinet came to the ring and Rumsfeld prepared to face IZW newcomer David Winzer. Rumsfeld dominated this match, although there was a brief rally by Winzer towards the end. It just wasn't enough though, as the inexperienced Winzer had to face (essentially) 3-on-1 odds in his match and Rumsfeld hit a T-Bone suplex to win the match.

Aaron Neil came out to defend his MSWA Oklahoma Title. He told the crowd that they were lucky to see him in person and in action. He said his opponent is competing in his very first match. That opponent was Nathan Sensation, the latest graduate from the Impact Academy. Sensation was certainly excited about being there, but his nerves seemed to get to him a little and Neil, ever the veteran, took advantage of that, hitting a version of the TKO and retaining his Oklahoma Title.

Another backstage vignette was shown, this time focusing on IZW Tag Team Champions Team Shenanigans. Tyler Bateman & Kenny Campbell were shown sneaking up (almost Bugs Bunny-style) on some bottles of water in the dressing area. They selected 1 bottle and poured an extreme amount of Ex-Lax into the bottle, then shaking it up and leaving it with the other bottles. Team Shenanigans then left the area right before Impact, Inc arrived, celebrating Aaron Neil's successful title defence. All 5 members of Impact, Inc. drank water, although it was uncertain who had taken the tainted bottle. None of them suspected, though, and John Zorthos was his usualy verbose self, announcing that the main event would be Team Shenanigans defending their titles against himself and Bernie Donderwitz. He also mentioned that Brad Michaels would be defending his MSWA Mid-South Title later as well. The vignette ended without any further indication as to who would be experiencing some internal discomfort later that evening. But all the fans knew that something bad was coming for Impact, Inc.

After intermission, Brad Michaels arrived to defend his MSWA Mid-South Title. But that all changed after his opponent was announced as IZW Impact Division Champion John O'Malley, the man who's been chasing Michaels for months. Michaels refused to put his title on the line against O'Malley and said that instead, O'Malley's Impact Division Title would be defended and that if O'Malley won, he would receive an MSWA Title shot at next week's show. This match spilled outside the ring very quickly and stayed there for quite a while, despite the attempts by referee Jeff Patrick to return it. Once it got back in the ring, the intensity didn't drop, but O'Malley did. He dropped Michaels on his head with a Northern Lights Suplex and retained his Impact Division Title as well as earning an MSWA Title shot, which may finally allow him to capture that elusive title.

And then it was time for the main event! IZW Tag Team Champions Team Shenanigans were set to defend against Impact, Inc. members John Zorthos & Bernie Donderwitz. Neither man showed any symptoms of having drank the contaminated water earlier when the match started, but as soon as Bernie was tagged in, the stoumach cramps began to hit him. He withstood them for a while without any ill effects, but eventually, he went for a second-rope leg drop on Tyler and missed. Immediately, he clutched the back of his tights and vacated the ring, running full tilt for the dressing area (and presumably the bathroom therein.). Zorthos was then left to face the tag team champions 2-on-1, a situation he did not count on or appreciate. After 3 minutes of action, where Zorthos was able to keep himself in the match, but was still yelling at the top of his lungs for his tag team partner to return, Donderwitz did just that. And, in a clear sign of what had happened for those who hadn't put 2 & 2 together, Bernie had a string of toilet paper hanging from the waist area of his wrestling gear. He made the tag with Zorthos and went in to face the fresh Kenny Campbell, who ducked a clothesline and grabbed the streamer of toilet paper, shoving it into Donderwitz's mouth (much to the disgust of many of the fans). Tyler capitalised on this impromptu feast and, with Zorthos outside and out of action, Tyler pinned Donderwitz and Team Shenanigans retained that tag team gold.

IZW returns to the Impact Arena next week (and will be holding matches EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT!), located at SW 53rd & Penn Avenue. Brad Michaels will put up the MSWA Mid-South Title against John O'Malley at that event. Bring your friends out and...FEEL THE IMPACT!