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Two Cents Worth

Posted: May 4th 2009 By: CMBurnham

Caballero slowly forming a Texas?Foreign Legion

With quite possibly the biggest amount of rain that Oklahoma has had in the short period of time that it fell, the MWA Board of Directors had to meet to decide whether to continue with the show or not. However, keeping with the motto of the business, ?the show must go on,? the stars of the Maximum Wrestling Alliance provided some much needed excitement for a surprisingly large crowd, considering the whether and all.

Non-Title Match
?Disco King? Trey Christian v. Blake Albright

The opening match of the show marked several returns to the MWA, namely the two competitors, Disco King & Albright, but also, the hideous dancing and disgustingly yellow plaid that encompasses the dancing dimwit that is Trey Christian. A month-long hiatus may have been exactly what the doctor ordered for the young MWA Heavyweight Champion, Albright. His return marked a fire that had seemingly been dwindling, despite the fact that he is at the top of the MWA roster. The Disco King had little chance against the champ, until Albright?s nemesis, ?Mr. Saturday Night? Michael Barry came to the ring and hit Disco with a steel chair. What seemed like a ploy to help Blake Albright was quickly revealed as Barry?s plan to put a loss on Albright?s record, via a DQ. However, Director of Operations, Raymon Downey, offered Albright a chance at revenge later in the evening as he was ordered to defend the title against Barry. It was an order he gladly accepted. As for Disco King, though it came with a price, he can honestly say that he has a victory over the MWA heavyweight champion.

Winner by DQ: ?Disco King? Trey Christian

After setting up the match between Albright and Barry, ?Space Cowboy? Jason Jones was in the ring to talk to D.O.O., Raymon Downey, about the tag-team title match in April, stating that Texas, Inc. was in the ring illegally. Downey agreed and set up a tag-team title match between the Old School Express and Texas, Inc., however, Jones explained that his tag-team partner, ?Big Country? Jake Boulder, hadn?t arrived to the building, yet, so Downey explained that if Boulder didn?t show, that Jones would have to face Texas, Inc. alone.

?Handsome? Jack Legacy v. El Super Colibri

The May show also marked the return of the wildly popular El Super Colibri and his opponent, ?Handsome? Jack Legacy, both of who were not strangers to each another. Legacy, one half of the Southern Tag Team champions with ?Darling? Dustin Heritage as the Jet Setters, came to the ring alone this month, but he was still as brash and arrogant as ever. His opponent, El Super Colibri, however, came to the ring to a thunderous ovation, which must have gotten the Oklahoma luchadore pumped up for his match. However, Colibri may have been over zealous as he was suckered into playing Legacy?s game. Legacy methodically took most of the air out of Colibri?s attack, and in a veteran move, used a little bit of leverage on the pinfall to gain a surprising victory, despite Colibri nailing the 9-1-8. Though Colibri tried to explain the situation to the referee, Legacy extricated himself from ringside before the referee could question him about his tactics.

Winner: ?Handsome? Jack Legacy

Lars ?All? Manderson v. ?Broken Arrow Bad Boy? Justin Lee

Before the match began, Manderson took the microphone from ring announcer, Mike Iles, and began to berate the B.A. Bad Boy, stating that he would not only defeat Lee, but he would also take his place in the five-man ladder match in June, which will determine the first MWA Max-Division champion. Justin Lee?s response was the same cool, collected, and casual approach he has to every person that has decided that he would be an easy target, only to be left in the ring as Lee would leave as the winner. To Manderson?s credit, he consistently overpowered the smaller Lee, but Justin?s well-known resiliency is a tough attribute to prepare for, much less, overcome. Manderson may have talked the talk, but he didn?t walk the walk, and Justin Lee was able to hit the moonsault and get the victory.

Winner: ?Broken Arrow Bad Boy? Justin Lee

Texas, Inc. (?Terrific? Tim Rockwell & Bernard Funk, w/?Big? Stevie Caballero) v. Old School Express (?Space Cowboy? Jason Jones & ?Big Country? Jake Boulder)

D.O.O, Raymon Downey, gave the fans what they wanted?a tag team title match between Texas, Inc. and Old School Express. The only problem is that Jason Jones was the only member of OSE, much to the delight of Texas, Inc. Jones done really well against the tag team champs during the first part of the match, but Rockwell clipped the bad knee of Jones, giving Texas Inc. even more of an advantage than before. Suddenly, Jake Boulder comes staggering through the crowd, still in his street clothes, carrying his bag, and looking like he had just gotten mauled by a bear. Jones reluctantly made the tag to his weary and beaten partner, but he knew he needed to. Boulder came in with a fury like the MWA fans had not seen, but it was short lived. Texas, Inc. was able to once again gain the advantage and nail Boulder with the spike piledriver on his head, which was wrapped heavily in gauze. After Texas Inc. got the victory, Jake showed Downey the reason he showed up late. As he was coming to the ring, he was attacked by two masked men and beaten severely. However, one of the masked men took his mask off just a little too quickly to reveal himself as Bernard Funk. Downey immediately suspended Funk for 30 days, and he informed Rockwell that if he didn?t find a partner before the June show, he was going to have to face OSE alone in a tag team title match.

Winners: Texas, Inc. (?Terrific? Tim Rockwell & Bernard Funk, w/?Big? Stevie Caballero)

El Famoso (w/?Big? Stevie Caballero) v. ?Mr. Endurance? Sugar Shane Morbid

In a return match from the April show, El Famoso was looking to get some revenge for the loss he incurred from Morbid. Morbid was looking to continue his winning ways since severing ties with former tag team partner, Cast-Iron Cothern. Famoso was in rare form, as he was taking everything Morbid could throw at him and returning it two-fold. Nevertheless, Morbid was not going to let his newly formed fan base down, and he was able to beat Famoso down enough that he was able to nail the Frog Splash for the victory. After the match, it seemed as if Morbid would be able to get his hands on Caballero. However, Texas Inc., followed by the biggest Russian I?ve ever seen, stormed the ring and commenced to beating Morbid before he could attack Caballero. After the Old School Express came to the ring with a steel chair and cleared the ring, it was announced that the Russian, Boris (he?s got a last name that I can neither spell or pronounce), is the newest employee of Caballero. He is also going to be Rockwell?s tag team partner in June, and he will help Rockwell defend the tag team titles against the OSE.

Winner: ?Mr. Endurance? Sugar Shane Morbid

MWA Heavyweight Title Match
?Mr. Saturday Night? Michael Barry v. Blake Albright

In his earlier attempt to get Albright?s attention, Barry may have bitten off a little more than he could chew. He must have anticipated the fire that Albright was going to bring to the squared circle, as he was accompanied by the huge Lars ?All? Manderson. Barry and Albright redefined their feud along with the term ?main event? by putting on a classic match. Albright landed several impressive dropkicks, but Barry was always quick to retaliate with his array of powerful moves, including his devastating clothesline. Barry continued his masterful chess-like maneuvering, by having his close friend, ?Handsome? Jack Legacy, come to the ring. With the deck stacked heavily against him, it appeared as if the young champion might be nearing the end of his run as champion?except for a mistake by Barry and his cohorts. While Legacy distracted referee Clinton Starks, Manderson tried to hand some powder to Barry, but Albright saw the exchange and kicked the powder from Manderson?s hand into Barry?s face. Manderson then came into the ring to apologize to Barry only to get the Saturday Night Special because Barry thought it was Albright!! Then, Albright hit a big reverse neck breaker to seal the deal and get the victory.

Winner and still MWA Heavyweight Champion: Blake Albright

For those of you that attended the show, the proprietors of the MWA want to send out a big thank you for your dedication to our product. For those of you that were unable to attend because of the whether, we also appreciate your dedication, and we sincerely hope you and your families are alright after the downpour. With the upcoming ladder match featuring El Super Colibri, Justin Lee, Rage Logan, Damien Morte, and Brett Taylor, plus a tag team title match between the Old School Express and a modified version of Texas, Inc., June is shaping up to be a tremendous show. You probably won?t want to miss this. But, then again, that?s what I always say. Well, that?s my two-cents worth. Take care.

Sincerely,
John Wayne ?J.W.? McGillicutty
The Sophisticated Redneck