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Missy's Manor: The Matches Of The Month Club...The First And Only Edition

Posted: Jul 25th 2008 By: CMBurnham

I normally don't watch much Japanese wrestling. I respect the wrestlers and wrestling style. I just prefer story line oriented wrestling. Recently I received a link of the goofiest wrestling that I ever seen. It features Mecha Mummy [Mummy from the future], Super Robo K [Robot Clown From The future], Shock Wave Robo [a freakin' robot from the future], and a bunch of other variations of these characters. This is beyond stupid, it's "stupified". I loved it. Let me give you a rare "Missy Japanese Video Review". This should be the first and probably only installment of "Missy's Matches Of The Month Club". I would love to hear what everybody thinks of this group. Hopefully I didn't lose my mind and there are other wrestlers, fans, etc. that enjoy this crap.

Jushin Liger & Liger Fuke VS. Kiku Liger & Mecha Liger: This match is a homage to Jushin Liger. Everybody is a variation of Jushin. Liger Fuke is a MMA fighter who keeps insisting to fight on his back to the delight of nobody. Jushin Liger is Jushin Liger. They go against the dreaded combination of Mecha Liger. Mecha is the evil Liger Mummy from the future. He comes with a launching hand [think of the hand that 'Cock Knocker' used in 'Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back']. Kiku Liger is a Liger clown. I never would imagine Liger working a total comedy match. This match was a new level of awesomeness. Mecha Liger tried launching his oversized hand. Unfortunately Jushin counteracted it with his palm strikes. Too bad Liger Fuke stole the win with his anti climactic ankle lock.

Shock Wave The Robot VS. Mecha Mummy: Shock Wave comes out to the goofiest robot costume ever. He does over exaggerated robot movements. He doesn't sell much. Shock Wave The Robot = Ticket & DVD Buys. Mecha Mummy tries to use his "Cock Knocking-Launching Hand". Shock Wave no sells it. Mecha tried electricity. Shock Wave isn't buying this. Mecha even used his power drill hand attachment. Shock Wave no selled it, since he's too sophisticated for this nonsense. Eventually Mecha utilizes water. That's right, freakin' water. Apparently none of us knew that Shock Wave is not water resistant. What a big manufacture/booker defect to this great gimmick. Shock Wave started selling to the point that he was motionless. Mecha scored the pin by a malfunctioning Shock Wave. Remember a Mummy from the future is smarter than a robot of the future. I bet you that Dave Meltzer didn't know this tidbit. Mecha Mummy = Wrestling Hall Of Fame.

Mecha Mummy VS. Super Robo K [robot Kushinobu Kamen from the future]: Is it me or does everybody come from the future? I can't wait to see the robot-mummy version of Great Khali. Screw it, I'm copy righting that gimmick. Same goofy match. Mecha uses his multiple hand attachments against Robo K. Robo K tries to find a way to beat Mecha. Robo K tries to use the dreaded bottle of water on Mecha. Unfortunately Mecha is immune to water. He's part freakin' Mummy. All of those Mummy bandages preserve him. Duh! Super Robo than pours water on himself [what a jabronie]. Robo malfunctions and Mecha shows us why he rules!

*Mecha Mummy Fact* Did you know that Mecha Mummy enjoys Taco Bell? That info came from a Mike Quackenbush interview.

Mecha Mummy & Mecha Stanley VS. Black Mummy & The Mummy: Black & The Mummy are "Old School Mummies". No freaking gimmicks needed, unlike Mecha Mummy and his assorted hand attachments. Mecha Stanley is a goofy guy in a cheesy robot character. At least he comes with matching hand attachments like Mecha Mummy. This match got
it all. Chains, powder, launching hands, and Mummies. Totally innovative. Mecha eventually turns on Mecha Stanley. You can't trust a Mummy! All of the Mummies unite. We're on our way to a possibly "4 Mummies Of The Apocalypse"?

Please download these matches. I don't want to be the lone nut who enjoyed this crap. I can't believe I watched this crap being drug free and alcohol free. Does alcohol or drug use enhance the enjoyment of these matches?

We all have to find a way to bring Mecha Mummy back to the United States. I can't believe I watched this over TNA last night. I did tune in for the Beautiful People [the best heels in wrestling]. I'm even thinking about going to Japan as "Mecha Missy". The Robot-Mummy-Missy of the future.

Tags: Missy Hyatt, TNA