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Missy's Thoughts On Overanalyzing Shows, Celebrity Fit Club And "Legends Of Wrestling" This Weekend

Posted: May 2nd 2008 By: CMBurnham

I appreciate the feedback that people send me about my articles. Occasionally I get the question on why I write my articles. Honestly, I don't know. I have writers block when I start the articles. I somehow crank out another article by the end of the week. I try not to write insider articles about TNA or WWE. I enjoy their products. The reason I can still enjoy it, is due to me not getting critical when watching them.

I feel over analyzing angles and rating matches can sometimes diminish your enjoyment. I try to watch the television shows open minded, just like a soap opera. If a story line, character, or match clicks, than I continue watching it. I don't read sheets [accept Figure 4 Weekly] and much of the internet. They become too negative or too demanding for perfection. I just believe that a good wrestling show should provide compelling story lines, and exciting matches. If you catch people's interest and emotions, this leads to a ticket or a pay per view purchase, than you accomplished your objective.

I'm still a very creative person and try to contribute to the business. My greatest joy is trying to help out the younger wrestlers in interviews and the production side. I'm not one of those bitter senior wrestlers. I just realize its time for me to get the next generation of wrestlers ready to carry the industry.

There is a UHF wrestling show in Manhattan. I'm friends with the producer/promoter Angelo. He brings me in for input on the production of the show and helping out on interviews. My greatest joy is helping the green wrestlers on interviews. I find great joy in taking a wrestler who can barely cut a interview and get them to learn how to elaborate on their characters and story line. Now I know why Eddie Gilbert would rather be booker/coach than a active wrestler. I get goose bumps in teaching the wrestlers and than watching them apply what I taught them on their interviews.

I deal with some inexperienced wrestlers on interviews when I work for WSU. I always keep myself available if they need help. On the 4/20 show I worked with a whole bunch who probably cut a hand full of interviews in their careers. I might come up with a story line, theme, or interaction to provide the wrestler with material to work with.

This somehow gets the most introverted/green wrestler to open up to me on their interview. I was so happy that a whole bunch of wrestlers couldn't wait for me to interview them on the last WSU show. They realized I could carry them if they had no clue what to talk about. I was also able to get them to open up and display their personalities. I emphasize interviews, because that's what draws people. If you can't talk, than you couldn't draw in a territory. Your interview is what draws the people in to your program, angle, character, and feud. Jerry Lawler wouldn't be the top draw in Memphis for over 30 years if he couldn't talk.

My advice for aspiring wrestlers is to look for old Memphis/Mid South tapes. The wrestlers had to be decent on promos in order to draw the same fans weekly. You can also learn that you have to be spontaneous to almost any situation. A deer in the head lights reaction is obvious when you find a wrestler who sucks on promos. My advice is to tape yourself doing interviews and than watch them. Try to figure out what works and doesn't work. That part is very hard. By constantly practicing your promos, you will improve. I also recommend keeping a notebook to write down any witty lines or catchy phrases you might want to use.

I apologized if this article sounds too smart. Rock Of Love 2 is over and I'm still shaking my head at Bret Michaels' pick. I'm still trying to figure out his hair weave that has to be perfectly hold in to place by his bandanna or cowboy hat. I don't have too much reality T.V. to rant about. Maybe I'll start ranting about Ultimate Fighter.

Last Friday I worked on my first NYWC show. I was so impressed with their product. I was working on my garden and getting dirty [not dirty in a good way]. I looked at my watch and saw I had to be at the show in a hour. I hauled ass in a big way. i got showered and dressed in record time and drove like I was doing Nascar to the Deer Park Community center.

The last time I was at the Deer Park Community Center was for Mikey Whipwreck Retirement Show in '01. I did bring it up to Mikey. We rationalized the retirement was done under the "Terry Funk Clause" [Terry can retire a million times. I don't care. He's my all time favorite]. Since Mikey's retirement was under the "Funk Clause", I accepted it and let him off lightly. I'm just pissed off that I went to his retirement, despite not being booked, and not having a ride going home. So next time Mikey retires, I'm not coming [unless Terry Funk is retiring on the same show].

I was so flattered that the wrestlers lined up to shake my hand and introduce themselves to me. I felt like a superstar, until 7 wrestlers bummed cigarettes off of me. I even got my own dressing room. This made me feel like a champion, since Kurt Angle can't get his own drsssing room any longer.

I only got to watch two matches on the show. The NYWC crowd is awesome. They are regular fans who know their baby faces and heels. They know the storylines. Its nice to work in front of a crowd of regular fans, even if it's my first show. The matches I saw used classic baby face and heel psychology.

I was suppose to arm wrestle Nicole Bass. Bass no showed for whatever reasons. She's lucky, my hand healed up from my "Guitar Hero Accident" [level beginner, ughhh!]. I won by forfeit [I'll take the win], but Nikky Benz [isn't that the name of a female porn star, how do I know that fact?] had to ruin my win. This lead to my new faction of Alex Renyolds, Mike Reed, and Blake Morris giving Benz [go back to your old jabroni name] a beat down. This lead to Benz being saved by U-Gene [Eugene], Maverick, and Braggioli making the save [logical and no swerves]. Guess what this lead to? That's right a 6 man match.

The 6 man match was classic baby face VS. heel logic. I love working those type of matches. The story lines and ring work made sense. This gets the desired reaction that everybody wants. This makes it easier to gauge the reaction you want and when to do your spots.

Unfortunantly U-Gene kissed me, NYWC is now going down in my sexual harassment lawsuit. Ironically that U-Gene is the "special nephew" of Eric Biscoff [remember that story line?]. I took a bump. Face rolls up the heel. My team and I leave being devestated by the loss. Than I haul ass again to be at home before 12:00. This show ruled for me. I got home and missed TNA [ughh!]. Hopefully I'll be back to get revenge and advance in the arm wrestling tournament [as long as it doesn't conflict with my Guitar Hero Tour].

This Saturday I am doing a autograph signing at the Legends Of Wrestling convention in Carteret, New Jersey. I love doing wrestling conventions. It gives me the opportunity to see wrestlers and fans I have not seen in a long time. Unfortunantly having friends in the business is hard. You have a lot of acquantences, but never really any friends. It becomes "out of sight, out of mind". You can not see a person for years, but once you run in to them, you end up spending time catching up. Then you never see them again for years. Just the reality of the business.

I can't wait to see Barry Darsow. I introduced Barry to his wife and they been married for over 20 years. I helped create the name Shane Douglas for Troy Martin when he was in UWF. Now I'm coming after Shane for his Dynamic Dudes royalties for the name. Don't forget to stop by at the 'Kayfabe Commentaries' table. I know I'm getting their 'Rebuilding The Iron Sheik' DVD from them. I enjoyed their Honky Tonk Man DVD. Did I also forget that I will be signing at their table? Than I'm off to do the Chiller Thearter at the Hilton in Parsippany, NJ.

I'm really looking foward on being at Chiller Theater for three days. I get to meet Superstar" Billy Graham again. Billy is a painter like myself [you can buy my paintings at my site]. I also get to run in to Mick Foley. Foley rules! Enough about the wrestlers. I'm more interested in meeting some of the celebrities.

I get to meet Bridgette Nielsen. I'm not bringing up Flavor Flav to Bridgette. I just want a picture with her. I want to meet Katey Sagal from Married with Children. That show is still a classic. Jay from "Jay & Silent Bob" will be there. Clerks #1 & #2 are so funny. I have to get a picture with him. I'm such a celebrity mark. I'm going to be there at Chiller for 3 days and Carteret on Saturday. "Super Agent" Scott Epstein rules for getting me the Chiller Booking.

I just saw the Celebrity Fit Club Finale. Dustin Diamond is brilliant. He claimed injuries, lawsuits, and unsafe work conditions to get out of everything. He dropped his weight, without having to get beaten down. The end result is that he won part of $150,000 in cash and prizes. Erin Moran's laziness cost her team the grand prize. I would've beaten her down with my nagging and whining to lose weight. Scott Baio is very lucky that he moved on to Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert, Heather Locklear, etc after losing his virginity to Erin.

The event that consisted of walking on glass was insane. What kind of profession is expert glass walker? I'm more impressed that Necro Butcher can do a Death Match Tournament bare foot in glass than taking 4 steps in glass. I would be scared on causing nerve damage to my feet, infections, etc. by walking on the glass. I weigh 120 pounds [partially silicone] and could have lost 10 pounds easier than Erin Moran's 3 pound total in 6 weeks. Tina Yothers and Willie Aames busted their asses in losing over 20 pounds. Drastic weight loss programs have a high potential for failure. I want to see who rebounded after the show. I enjoyed this show.

I can't stomach another season of Flavor Flav, so I will not be adding it to my columns. I watched the first season and I'm forever dumber for watching it. That's why I prefer Court TV and the History channel. My reality TV watching is done for now. I might tune in for Ultimate Fighter.

Tags: Missy Hyatt, TNA, WWE, Eddie Gilbert, Barry Darsow, Shane Douglas, Honky Tonk Man, Mick Foley