Missy's Thoughts On Her WrestleMania Addiction
Posted: Mar 28th 2008 By: CMBurnham
Wrestle Mania is coming up Sunday. Unfortunantly I never worked on a WrestleMania. Technically I was at Wrestle Mania in 1991 [I worked in WCW at the time]. Jason Hervey and I actually bought tickets and attended the show. Coliseum Video even interviewed me. I ate a WWF ice cream bar and I acted like a total mark [sign of me being a life long wrestling fan]. Once they realized who I was, my interview fell on the editing floor. Thank God! That would've been the dumbest breach of contract on my part. I came close in getting booked in 1994. I was
suppose to hang out with the Bill Clinton imposter. Too bad when WWF heard I was in a legal war with WCW, they backed off on me completely.
I have spent many years dealing with my WrestleMania mental anguish in therapy. My therapist tries to convince me that Starrcade is just as good as Wrestle Mania. I had to tell my shrink that she obviously never lived through Lethal Lotteries, Eric Bischoff's incompetant wrap arounds, Shock Masters, Black Scorpions, and El Gigante. Why wonder I have to see a shrink.
I'm listing the many Wrestle Mania angles and scenarios I wish I could've done.
I always wanted to be 'Moondog Missy' for WrestleMania 2. I could've came in with nappy blonde hair and stone wash jeans. I would have managed George Steele and been his love interest. I even could have been 'Missy Funk'. I'm closer to being a Funk than Jimmy Jack Funk.
At least Marti Funk is my friend and helped get me in the biz. Too bad I couldn't get the role, since I'm a total Terry mark [he's my favorite wrestler ever].
I would have loved to have been Doink's double in Wrestle Mania 8. I wear just as much make up as Doink the Clown, so the role would have been easy for me. I also had no problem fighting Dink in a shoot fight at WrestleMania.
I would have loved to been 'Missy The Gobbledy Gooker' for the gimmick battle royal. The Gobbledy Gooker is one of the greatest gimmicks ever. I could even steal the gimmick and use it on the indy scene. If a zombie that was on ECW for 1 minute can do it, than I can do it.
I wish I could have been 'Missy McMahon' when Vince fought Shane. I could have been Vince's wife, since he could have been a bigamist. I could have turned on Vince and went with Shane [since I wanted a piece of Shane's future inheritance and collect alimony from Vince].
I could have been impregnated by Vince or Shane. 17.5% in child support from somebody who makes millions. I would do it for the biz and the $$$. Than I could be renamed 'Missy Millions'. The offer is still open.
Unfortunately I couldn't even get booked for this Sunday's battle royal for a shot at the ECW title. This is due to Big Daddy V's breasts being bigger than my 34 double d's. This is how I'm
rationalizing losing my spot this year. Never at the right place, right time.
Hopefully WWE will offer me a spot inducting Eric Bischoff in the hall of fame. I can work in my speech how he helped put WCW out of business and helped Vince win the wrestling war. I can bring up all the law suits he cost WCW. I can bring up how he spent millions on Master P, Kiss, Dennis Rodman, and helped run WCW in the ground. I'm also willing to fight Eric in a weapons death match at a WrestleMania.
I'm boycotting Wrestle Mania, since I never worked on one. Take that Vince. Now Mayweather won't get my $54.95 towards his 20 million. I will be spending my Sunday writing blogs on why
WWE should be boycotted, unless they finally make a Missy Hyatt legends figure as a consolation.
Supplemental Information
Spotlight in History
- 1965 Lee Fields & Bobby Fields became the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Champions
- 1967 Spoiler #1 & Gary Hart def. Brute Bernard & Mike Paidousis for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
- 1968 Manuel Perez & Pepe Perez def. The Blue Demons (Blue Demon #1 & Blue Demon #2) for the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Titles
- 1988 Jerry Lawler def. Kerry Von Erich for the WCCW World Title
- 2003 Payton Scott def. Chris Matthews for the ACW Heavyweight Title
- 2005 Matt Garza & Mr. Brown def. Brandon Bishop & John Zorthos for the ACW Tag Team Titles
- 2005 Pretty Young Things (Cade Sydal & Mitch Carter) def. Matt Garza & Mr. Brown for the ACW Tag Team Titles
- 2011 Javi Hernandez became the UWF06 Heavyweight Champion
- 2015 Vinny Pacheco def. Buster Cherry for the MSWA Oklahoma Title
- 2015 The Creepsters (Buster Cherry & Mr. Barnes) became the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Champions
- 2021 Richie Adams def. Tommy Dean for the WFC Prime Title
- 2021 Toxic Masculinity (Johnny Lightning & Johnny Dynamite) def. The Space Age Cowboys (Paul Puertorico & Jason Jones) for the WFC Tag Team Titles
- 2021 Luke Langley def. Alex Royal for the WFC Heavyweight Title
Week of Sun 10-18 to Sat: 10-24
- 10-18 2009 Carnage def. Spoiler 2000 for the NWA-OK Oklahoma Heavyweight Title
- 10-18 2019 Tego def. Prince Mahalli for the ASP Inter-County Title
- 10-18 2019 Will Allday def. J. D. Griffey for the TexPro Heavyweight Title
- 10-18 2024 Luther Zay Diamond def. Brandon Warhawk for the MajCW Flawless Title
- 10-18 2024 Nashoba became the MajCW Wetumka Indian Community Centre Champion
- 10-18 2024 Auzzy def. Kari Wright for the TexPro Dynasty Title
- 10-18 2024 The Strays (Barrett Brown & Izzy James) def. K. O. A. (Caine Carter & Devion Black) for the TexPro Tag Team Titles
- 10-19 1976 Karl Kox & Ken Patera became the TSW United States Tag Team Champions
- 10-19 2013 Tyson Jaymes def. Brock Landers for the SWCW All-American Title
- 10-19 2013 The K. C. Wolves (Graham Bell & Luke Langley) def. Nasty Swag (Ace Archuleta & Robert Lee) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
- 10-19 2013 Jon Cross def. Anarchy [2nd] for the UWE Heavyweight Title
- 10-19 2014 Jon Cross def. Robert Lee for the WFC Hometown Heroes Title
- 10-19 2019 Luke Langley became the WFC Hometown Heroes Champion
- 10-19 2024 Anarchy [2nd] def. Damien Morte for the EPW Internet Television Title
- 10-19 2024 E-Bone def. Trench Blythe for the EPW International Title
- 10-20 1969 Danny Hodge def. Chuck Karbo for the TSW North American Title
- 10-20 1971 Bill Watts became the TSW North American Champion
- 10-20 1986 Crusher Yurkov def. Steve Simpson for the WCCW Television Title
- 10-20 2001 The Texas Outlaws (Beau Dalton & Butch Dalton) def. The VIP Crew (Rocco Valentino & Vinnie Valentino) for the OPW Oklahoma Tag Team Titles
- 10-20 2001 Amanda St. George became the OPW Oklahoma Womens Champion
- 10-20 2001 Big Daddy Moore became the OPW Oklahoma Hardcore Champion
- 10-20 2007 Chris Fury became the SECW Light Heavyweight Champion
- 10-20 2007 Impact, Inc. (John Zorthos & Bernie Donderwitz) def. Team Shenanigans (Tyler Bateman & Kenny Campbell) for the IZW Tag Team Titles
- 10-20 2007 Tyson Armstrong became the SECW Heavyweight Champion
- 10-20 2007 The Texas Outlaws (Bobby Burns & Dan Wilder) became the SECW Tag Team Champions
- 10-20 2012 Kevin James Sanchez def. Austin Tacious for the SWCW All-American Title
- 10-20 2012 The Static Knights (X-Statik & Keith Knight) def. Dynamic Storm (Justin Dynamic & Daemon Storm) for the UWE Tag Team Titles
- 10-20 2018 Fuel def. Alex Royal for the UWE Heavyweight Title
- 10-20 2018 Galaxy Cruzers (Paul Puertorico & Steven Cruze) became the UWE Tag Team Champions
- 10-20 2018 Dusty Gold became the UWE Apex Champion
- 10-20 2018 Anarchy [2nd] def. Dusty Gold for the UWE Apex Title
- 10-21 1969 Fritz Von Erich became the WCCW American Heavyweight Champion
- 10-21 1985 King Parsons def. John Tatum for the WCCW Television Title
- 10-21 2005 Mitch Carter def. Kenny Campbell for the SRPW X Division Title
- 10-21 2006 J. T. LaMotta def. John O'Malley for the IZW Cruiserweight Title
- 10-21 2017 MVP def. Damon Windsor for the IWR Heavyweight Title
- 10-21 2017 Spirit Squad (Kenny [1st] & Mikey [1st]) def. Excellence Personified (Duke Swellington & Dustin Heritage) for the ComPro Tag Team Titles
- 10-21 2022 Tego def. Mr. Wobble for the TexPro Texas Title
- 10-21 2023 Wolf of War def. Martin Justice for the EPW International Title
- 10-21 2023 Johnny Dynamite def. Johnny Lightning for the WFC Prime Title
- 10-21 2023 Native Law (Sheriff Schultz & Nashoba) def. K. O. A. (Caine Carter & Devion Black) for the NCWO Tag Team Titles
- 10-21 2023 Malik Mayfield def. Clayton Bloodstone for the NCWO Choctaw Nation Title
- 10-21 2023 Dominik Whiteheart def. Luke Richmond for the NCWO United States Title
- 10-22 1984 The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers & Bobby Fulton) def. The Long Riders (Bill Irwin & Scott Irwin) for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
- 10-22 2005 Big Van Vader def. Aaron Neil for the IZW Heavyweight Title
- 10-22 2005 Carnage def. John O'Malley for the IZW Hardcore Title
- 10-22 2005 Ryan Davidson became the MSWA Mid-South Cruiserweight Champion
- 10-22 2005 The Lone Shining Star def. Tyler Bateman for the MSWA Tri-State Title
- 10-22 2005 Michael Faith def. Outlaw for the MSWA Mid-South Heavyweight Title
- 10-22 2005 The Real Impact Players (Aaron Neil & Se7en) def. The Red Dirt Outlaws (Devon Monroe & Kevin James) for the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Titles
- 10-22 2011 Fuel def. Jonathan Cross for the UWE Heavyweight Title
- 10-22 2022 Justin Lee def. Koko for the WFC Hometown Heroes Title
- 10-22 2022 Dutch Hagen def. Wesley Crane for the WFC Heavyweight Title
- 10-22 2023 Tunnel Vision (Derek James & Logan Knight) became the BPW Oklahoma Tag Team Champions
- 10-22 2023 Luke Richmond def. Brandon Groom for the BPW Oklahoma Title
- 10-22 2023 Trench Blythe def. El Gallardo for the BPW Lion Heart Title
- 10-22 2023 The Stage Dive Mafia (Rook Tyler & Axel Savage) def. Native Law (Sheriff Schultz & Nashoba) for the NCWO Tag Team Titles
- 10-22 2026 Heavy Metal Mario def. Abismo Negro, Jr. for the EDW Heavyweight Title
- 10-23 1965 Lee Fields & Bobby Fields became the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Champions
- 10-23 1967 Spoiler #1 & Gary Hart def. Brute Bernard & Mike Paidousis for the WCCW American Tag Team Titles
- 10-23 1968 Manuel Perez & Pepe Perez def. The Blue Demons (Blue Demon #1 & Blue Demon #2) for the TSW Louisiana Tag Team Titles
- 10-23 1988 Jerry Lawler def. Kerry Von Erich for the WCCW World Title
- 10-23 2003 Payton Scott def. Chris Matthews for the ACW Heavyweight Title
- 10-23 2005 Matt Garza & Mr. Brown def. Brandon Bishop & John Zorthos for the ACW Tag Team Titles
- 10-23 2005 Pretty Young Things (Cade Sydal & Mitch Carter) def. Matt Garza & Mr. Brown for the ACW Tag Team Titles
- 10-23 2011 Javi Hernandez became the UWF06 Heavyweight Champion
- 10-23 2015 Vinny Pacheco def. Buster Cherry for the MSWA Oklahoma Title
- 10-23 2015 The Creepsters (Buster Cherry & Mr. Barnes) became the MSWA Mid-South Tag Team Champions
- 10-23 2021 Richie Adams def. Tommy Dean for the WFC Prime Title
- 10-23 2021 Toxic Masculinity (Johnny Lightning & Johnny Dynamite) def. The Space Age Cowboys (Paul Puertorico & Jason Jones) for the WFC Tag Team Titles
- 10-23 2021 Luke Langley def. Alex Royal for the WFC Heavyweight Title
- 10-24 1983 Jimmy Garvin def. Chris Adams for the WCCW Television Title
- 10-24 1998 The VIP Crew (Rocco Valentino & Vinnie Valentino) def. The Texas Outlaws (Dan Wilder & Bernard Funk) for the OPW Oklahoma Tag Team Titles
- 10-24 2004 Se7en def. John O'Malley for the ACW Hardcore Title
- 10-24 2009 Xavior became the SWCW Cruiserweight Champion
- 10-24 2009 Dawn of Extreme (Ty Thunder & Crucifer) def. Texas, Inc. (Tim Rockwell & Bernard Funk) for the ComPro Tag Team Titles
- 10-24 2009 The South Side Soul Assassins (Tyson Jaymes & 3rd Rail) def. The Good Ol' Boys (Bud Barnes & Moonshine) for the SWCW Tag Team Titles
- 10-24 2009 The Good Ol' Boys (Bud Barnes & Moonshine) became the SWCW Tag Team Champions
- 10-24 2009 Rated N (Crisstopher Crow & Shane Sanchez) def. The Good Ol' Boys (Bud Barnes & Moonshine) for the SWCW Tag Team Titles
- 10-24 2020 Sam Stackhouse def. Alex Royal for the WFC Heavyweight Title
- 10-24 2021 Ryan the Ripper def. Drake Gallows for the EPW Internet Television Title
- 10-24 2025 Merc def. Riker for the BUW This Is Wrestling Title
- Red Eagle Oct 23rd Today!
- Bobby Lambert Oct 24th
- Ray Durán Oct 24th
- Bill Dundee Oct 24th
- Daniel Powers Oct 24th
- Phil Shark Oct 25th
- Sheriff Schultz Oct 25th
- Paige Turner Oct 25th
- Double D Oct 25th
- Halo Oct 26th
- Eddie Williams Oct 26th
- Anthony Wayne Oct 26th
- Troy Graham Oct 26th
- Miss Linda Oct 27th
- Doberman [2nd] Oct 27th
- AWOL Oct 27th
- Jake Boulder Oct 28th
- Chris Smith Oct 28th
- MVP Oct 28th
- Mike Sharpe, Jr. Oct 28th
- Mischief Oct 29th
- Paul Orndorff Oct 29th
- D. J. Hall Oct 29th
- Jesse Beeler Oct 30th
- Brandon Bishop Oct 30th
- Debbie Combs Oct 30th
- George Wells Oct 30th
- Danny McShain Oct 30th
- Jayson Boss Oct 31st
- Big Daddy Moore Nov 1st
- Bugsy McGraw Nov 1st
- Dutch Hagen Nov 1st
- Mike Davis [2nd] Nov 2nd
- Stephen Nitro Nov 3rd
- Rob Barnes Nov 3rd
- Kenny Silva Nov 3rd
- Dylan Michaels Nov 3rd
- Michael La Noy Nov 3rd
- Korstia Korchenko Nov 3rd
- Jimmie Deen Nov 4th
- Assassin 1 Nov 4th
- Max Leon Nov 4th
- Jules Strongbow [2nd] Nov 5th
- Chris Chaos Nov 5th
- Christopher Samuel Dean Nov 5th
- David Jason Rose Nov 5th
- Bill Decker Nov 5th
Oklafan Quiz
Who was the special guest referee for the Chris Candido Cup final match between Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas?
Top Viewed Bios
