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Warrior's Machete: Warrior addresses the "Ultimate Warrior Wannabe" and confirms "WrestleSlam UK" appearance

Posted: Jan 23rd 2008 By: mikeiles

Many have inquired to know whether this is legitimate, or not. Yes, it is. They inquire because, ironically, there have been more Ultimate Warrior frauds and wanna-be copycats than any other wrestler since the times of Milos of Kroton. I don?t know why, really. As you know, I?m not too brave or bold when it comes to having opinions. And the last thing I would ever want to do is be controversial, or worse, confrontational. Oh, how I hate that. Just the thought of it turns me into a big old scaredy-cat. You just don?t know. My oh my, how my 3-4 hours of sleep each night would be absolutely wrecked if I knew someone was upset by anything I had to say.

However, if I had to guess, I would say the desire for anyone to embody Ultimate Warrior (or me while they are not in gimmick) probably has most to do with my sports entertainment career?s illegitimacy and that the persona was nothing more than a flash-in-the-pan. After all, unsuccessful, boring and uninspiring people and personalities have historical reputations for sustaining an unique and magical, worldwide, public interest years and years after they are no longer around. Yeah, that must be it. That is exactly what drives so many to want to be it and keep yakking about it all these years later. Ultimate Warrior was never anything and is still nothing now. Beating a dead horse? Perhaps. But it seems more reasonable that critics would simply admit IT was a Thoroughbred they simply can?t kill.

You have to have heard and seen it by now. There?s an absolutely sick-looking and sickminded Ultimate Warrior Wannabe (UWW) puppy in New Jersey. He even signs pictures of my painted face and glorious physique, not his own. In fact, his wife (?Warrior Princess? as she calls herself when arguing with fans who let her know, ?Your husband ain?t the real Ultimate Warrior?) sleeps with my picture. That?s right, ?a? picture, just one. Apparently, she told a friend that sleeping with more than one would be just too much for any woman to handle.

He claims he?s channeling me, the one-and-only and original Ultimate Warrior. But, hell, that can?t be right. I mean, come on, I?ve had a Self Destruction DVD produced on me by those (liars) claiming they knew me very well. And not even in that fallacious production by these former family and friends was the portrayal of self destruction on the outerspace (or is that myspace?) level this guy has taken it to. And these frauds who created the DVD are pros at making crazy bullshit up! Nope, just ask all my former colleagues in the business. They?ll tell you. This guy from NJ can?t be channeling me. He?s way over-the-top with his brand of self-destruction. He?s over-selling it. Although, if you ask me, if Vince really wanted the project done right, he should have hired this guy to produce it, instead of buying off all the lying hanger-ons and burnt-outs he used. At least this NJUWW has true self destruction down.

An officially served Cease and Desist has been ignored. Let?s see though, Dominic, if you can find a way to ignore the stiff judicial yank you?re about to feel around your neck here as the rope you?ve been running out comes to its end. By all means, wear my gimmick to Court so we can all have one final laugh?at your expense.

Someone wrote after seeing some video of this guy: ?This isn?t going to end well.?

No, for one person it isn?t. For another, all always ends well.

Anyway, the One-and-Only will see you at Wrestleslam February 9, 2008.

Your Founding Father of Ring Intensity,

Always Believe,

Warrior

Tags: Ultimate Warrior