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Dusty's Blog: March 16, 2010

Posted: Mar 16th 2010 By: mikeiles

Since I?m still waiting on my photos?????????..thought I?d break out another oldie but goodie. Except this time, I can?t name names. I?m not too sure about statue of limitations. And how in the hell do I write about TNA or WWE? TNA is in full Russo/Bischoff, we have all seen this once before, self destruct mode. And the WWE??? Any company that would put a talent like Brian Danielson in an angle with a no talent like The Miz?an angle where The Miz is a ?mentor??????they are traveling snowblind. And I don?t mean the weather.
And away we go?
I?m going to tell a fishing story. Unlike most fishing stories, this one is true. And I have no reason to tell all the wimmen 6 inches equals 10 inches. (work on that one a second)
Like I wrote, I won?t mention names, lets just say..I knew everyone well. Let me give you the cast. 4 rasslin type guys. 3 of them were of the blond variety. A promoter. The police. And the animal control folks of Dade County, Fla.
On Wednesdays during this time, the rasslin fellows would all film Florida TV shows that morning, and then jump in their vehicles and head to Miami for an evening show.
In order to travel Tampa to Miami, the route included a drive across a 2 lane stretch of road in South Florida that crossed the Everglades by the name of Alligator Alley. This was 1984, years before the state widened the road, and this piece of pavement was a lovely two lane without shoulders most of the way. Just swamp water and creatures along either side.
There were these blond fellows that rode to most of the towns together at the time. After a few Miami trips, one of the older fellows mentioned how some nice bass could be caught in certain parts of the waterways of Alligator Alley. The other older blond said none of that could be true, gators ate anything that moved. Including fishermen.
Older blond #1 insisted there were a few spots safer than other. Especially those around the state prison??? These two would argue the safety of fishing in the Alley every week, until the youngest blond agreed he wanted to check out the fishing in the Alley. Even with the insane Wed schedule, the fishing could be done for an hour or so.
One Wed., none of the 3 were on the actual TV tapings that week, allowiing them to leave Tampa a bit early and get some fishing done on the way to Miami.
The entire way, older blond number two fussed like old Aunt Bea Taylor about how the gators were going to eat the other two, and he wasn?t making any phone calls, etc etc.
The other two blonds found a decent spot near the state pen, and pulled over in that drive way. As the two were getting their fishing gear out of that old Buick, Aunt Bea kept on with the fussing. He decided he would have nothing to do with this fishing, and was getting some sun. ON TOP of the Buick, he wasn?t getting eaten along with his two moron buddies. He insisted on holding the keys, casue he didn?t want to be stuck when the gators swallowed his buddies and their pants.
Fishing commenced, and continued for about half an hour when the older blond caught one. As he reeled it in, both the fishermen realized by the way the line was playing, this couldn?t be a bass. He reeled in a baby gator about 8 inches long. That baby proceeded to hiss and moan, and roll itselfup in that fishing line. Aunt Bea sat on the roof of that Buick and started telling the great alligator hunters that the mama had to be close. It was time to go, that pea brain bitch wasn?t going to understand all this.
The two great hunters decided their was some potential humor in all of this if they could figure a way to keep the baby gator. Aunt Bea was now standing on the roof of the Buick, screaming how that gator needed to be released. IMMEDIATELY. The younger gator hunter reasoned a boot lace would do the trick. and used that and the fishing line to get the baby tied up. No sight of mama gator, and the guys weren?t sticking around. Then, the baby was put in an empty ice chest usually reserved for beer, while the two hunters were being condemned for what they were doing.
Aunt Bea refused to ride in the back seat of the Buick. Gators could eat through car seats. And he wasn?t getting his ass eaten by a pissed off gator he didn?t want in the first place.
Once these 3 pulled into the Miami building on Jackie Gleason Blvd, the plan was hatched.
The backstage area in this building had a maze of dressing rooms. At the first dressing room the hunters saw, they cut loose and dumped the baby gator inside. These 3 didn?t make another 20 feet down the hall when they heard this terrible scream. These 3 went back to see what the scream was about. Standing on top of a folding chair was a naked man in wrestling boots. A naked man that held titles all over the country and was a former AAU champ. That baby gator was standing under him, hissing all to hell at him.
The promoter I mentioned was named Chris Dundee. He had the off duty cops call the on duty cops. Who had to call Dade Co. Animal Control to get an 8 inch gator out of a dressing room and a naked man off a folding chair. Fun times had by all.