Two Cents Worth
COLIBRI…TABLE FOR TWO, STARCHILD RISES TO THE CHALLENGE
Well…I’M BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! After a long hiatus from giving my two-cents worth, I have returned to the trailer park where I belong. I had forgotten how great the action is at the Maximum Wrestling Alliance, but I was quickly reminded when I entered the Spavinaw School Gym, though it was a somber beginning to the show with a ten-bell salute.
“Broken Arrow Bad Boy” Justin Lee v. “Terrific” Tim Rockwell (w/”Big” Stevie Caballero)
Tim Rockwell and his manager, “Big” Stevie Caballero, came to the ring to demand another title shot from Director of Operations, Mike Iles. However, Mr. Iles told Rockwell and Caballero that title shots are earned in the MWA, not given. Then, Rockwell was given his first opportunity to earn a title shot against his former nemesis, “Broken Arrow Bad Boy” Justin Lee, who was making his first MWA appearance, since losing the Max-Division title to “Mr. Endurance” Sugar Shane Morbid in October. Rockwell and Lee re-kindled their feud from where it left off the last time…bitter and hard-hitting. Lee looked as if he would be able to defeat the former MWA Heavyweight and tag-team champion, but the crafty Caballero was able to throw the Megallerophone into the ring, so Rockwell could knock Lee out and get the victory. Perhaps Rockwell is on his way to regaining his former glory.
WINNER: “Terrific” Tim Rockwell (w/”Big” Stevie Caballero)
Dexter “Hardtimes” Hardaway v. The Luxembourg Beast
The March show saw the MWA debut of the Luxembourg Beast, who was eyeing Dexter Hardaway as his first victim in what is sure to be a path of destruction. The smaller Hardaway, however, has been faced with “hard times” in the ring before, so another challenge is something that he was prepared to accept. The Luxembourg Beast showed tremendous strength when he caught Hardaway with a double tilt-a-whirl back breaker, followed by a powerslam. Despite being overpowered, Hardaway was able to withstand the commanding attacks by the Luxembourg Beast and was able to secure the victory. While his debut may not have yielded the results he wanted, the Luxembourg Beast proved that he is going to be a strong force in the MWA.
WINNER: Dexter “Hardtimes” Hardaway
TABLES MATCH FOR THE MWA MAX-DIVISION CHAMPION
El Super Colibri v. “Mr. Endurance” Sugar Shane Morbid (Champion)
In a duel that has risen to the level of intensity that has arisen between Shane Morbid and El Super Colibri, it seemed only fitting that a match as brutal as a tables match would be agreed upon between these two gladiators. The bad blood between the two combatants was apparent before the bell even rang. The fight was not simply contained in the ring, as the fight spilled out onto the ringside area, which gave Morbid a chance to set up a table, with another table set on top of that table. The end of the match came when Morbid powerbombed Colibri from inside of the ring to the outside of the ring, through the two tables!!! In addition to rendering Colibri hurt and helpless, it gave Morbid the victory to retain the Max-Division title. At the time of this writing, Colibri was still suffering from a tremendous amount of pain from the powerbomb through the tables. Perhaps next month will reveal more information about the luchadore’s condition.
WINNER: “Mr. Endurance” Sugar Shane Morbid
S.L.U.G.G. and “Handsome” Jack Legacy v. Old School Express (“Space Cowboy” Jason Jones & “Big Country” Jake Boulder)
It was announced before the match began that JetSetter, “Darling” Dustin Heritage, had remained in Hollywood, as he made the second cut of a casting call for a popular daytime soap opera (more on that as it develops). As a result, the situation left “Handsome” Jack Legacy looking for a tag team partner, to which he turned to the crowd. The selected attendee was a burly man that referred to himself as “Slug.” With Slug having no wrestling experience, Legacy was forced to do most of the fighting against the MWA tag team champions, Old School Express. Legacy and Jake Boulder resumed their brutal encounter from the March show (according to reports that I’ve read) by fighting into the crowd. At one point, Legacy gave Boulder a vicious body slam on a ladder that was lying at ringside. With his tag team partner being inexperienced and star-struck by the OSE, Legacy was unable to overcome the odds, which gave the victory to Old School Express. Afterwards, Slug was given some free dance lessons, courtesy of Jason Jones.
WINNERS: Old School Express (“Space Cowboy” Jason Jones & “Big Country” Jake Boulder)
CAGE MATCH FOR THE MWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
SPECIAL ENFORCER REFEREE: Max McGuirk
“The Human Action Figure” Jeff Starchild v. “Mr. Saturday Night” Michael Barry (Champion)
In a grudge that has culminated to the apex of hatred, Jeff Starchild and Michael Barry were entering the cage to try to settle their long dispute. Max McGuirk would be the special enforcer for the contest, and before the match began, Barry’s Excellence Personified partner, “Handsome” Jack Legacy, was banned from ringside. The match started out quickly as each competitor used the cage as a deadly weapon, and the blood was soon flowing. Starchild showed his agility when he tried to do a flying cross body off the top of the cage. However, he could not gain the footing needed to do the move to its fullest impact, and had to do the move halfway between the top of the cage and the top rope. Referee McGuirk was out of position when Starchild climbed over the cage and onto the floor before Barry. Director of Operations, Mike Iles came out to declare Jeff Starchild the winner and new MWA Heavyweight Champion, based on what he viewed on the backstage monitor. Afterward, Legacy and Barry locked the cage door with handcuffs and began to beat Starchild and McGuirk with chairs, including a thunderous shot to McGuirk’s skull. However, the referees and MWA security were able to get the door open, and clear the ring of the EP members.
WINNER AND NEW MWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Human Action Figure” Jeff Starchild
The MWA’s next show will be April 9 at the Spavinaw School Gym. Will “Mr. Saturday Night” Michael Barry immediately invoke his rematch clause? Also, what will be the health status of El Super Colibri? All of these questions will be answered next month, so you won’t want to miss this. Remember, all tickets are $5.00 and kids 5 and under get in FREE!!!!
That’s my two cents worth,
J.W. McGillicutty
